My Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

Title: I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Author: Erika L. Sanchez

Format: paperback (own)

Pages: 368

Categories: Young Adult, Family, Friendship, Grief, Mental Health, Identity, Coming of Age, Sexual Situations

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian meets Jane the Virgin in this poignant but often laugh-out-loud funny contemporary YA about losing a sister and finding yourself amid the pressures, expectations, and stereotypes of growing up in a Mexican American home. 

Perfect Mexican daughters do not go away to college. And they do not move out of their parents’ house after high school graduation. Perfect Mexican daughters never abandon their family.

But Julia is not your perfect Mexican daughter. That was Olga’s role.

Then a tragic accident on the busiest street in Chicago leaves Olga dead and Julia left behind to reassemble the shattered pieces of her family. And no one seems to acknowledge that Julia is broken, too. Instead, her mother seems to channel her grief into pointing out every possible way Julia has failed.

But it’s not long before Julia discovers that Olga might not have been as perfect as everyone thought. With the help of her best friend, Lorena, and her first love (first everything), Connor, Julia is determined to find out. Was Olga really what she seemed? Or was there more to her sister’s story? And either way, how can Julia even attempt to live up to a seemingly impossible ideal?

• Julia is a Mexican American teen who is feeling trapped by grief and her family with their strict rules. I could relate to Julia even though I am not Mexican American, my parents are immigrants, so I remember not understanding some of their rules even silly ones like not shaving your legs. I couldn’t understand my parents, just like how Julia couldn’t understand hers. Her story is very relatable to me.
• Julia is so judgmental until near the end when she becomes so overwhelmed with her thoughts and feelings about Olga’s death, her mom, herself…that I realized she needed help. I thought it was powerful that we saw her coasting through life, angrily and acting out (but nothing too crazy), thinking she’s going to be okay, she just needs to let time heal woulds and all that and then the situation becomes dangerous. This is very relatable too – how many of us think we feel trapped, not realizing we need help? I remember that in my teen years and beyond as well. I’m glad we see how Julia gets the help she needs.
• I liked when Julia goes to Mexico. It reminded me of my parents taking us on our family trip to the Philippines when I was 7 years old. I remember seeing and hearing my dinner being killed, and butchered. It was quite an eye opening trip. But it was nice to learn more about Julia’s family in Mexico and glad she had that time to feel a bit freer from her anxiety.
• Julia as a character is real as can be, her thoughts aren’t censored, she judges everyone harshly but it was refreshing. She wasn’t likable, but she didn’t even like herself, and who does like themselves as a teenager? Julia is dealing with so many things at one time: grief, her mom’s rules, trying to please her parents/family, hating her life, and investigating Olga’s past. She is imperfect and I loved the scenes where she is finally acknowledging her thoughts out loud to someone else who listens without judging her.

• Triggers: grief, suicidal ideation, violence, sexual harassment
• I thought this story moved slowly in the beginning and it almost lost my attention, especially since I thought investigating Olga’s past was the main thing about this story – but nothing much happens there until the big reveal at the end.

Despite it being a slow moving story, it is powerful in the way it explores immigrant Mexican American families, grief and mental health issues. None of us are perfect but most of us live with the pressure from our parents or other family members to be their idea of perfect. Julia was not about to conform to their ideals but she felt trapped and didn’t know who to talk to about it. This is a great book for teens coming of age.

📖 ~ Yolanda