Seven Percent of Ro Devereux by. Ellen O’Clover | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: Seven Percent of Ro Devereux

Author: Ellen O’Clover

Format: hardcover (own)

Pages: 320

Publication Date: 1/17/23

Categories: Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Coming of Age, Grief

A clever, charming, and poignant debut novel about a girl who must decide whether to pursue her dreams or preserve her relationships, including a budding romance with her ex-best friend, when an app she created goes viral.

Ro Devereux can predict your future. Or, at least, the app she built for her senior project can.

Working with her neighbor, a retired behavioral scientist, Ro created an app called MASH, designed around the classic game Mansion Apartment Shack House, that can predict a person’s future with 93% accuracy. The app will even match users with their soul mates. Though it was only supposed to be a class project, MASH quickly takes off and gains the attention of tech investors.

Ro’s dream is to work in Silicon Valley, and she’ll do anything to prove to her new backing company—and the world—that the app works. So it’s a huge shock when the app says her soul mate is Miller, her childhood best friend with whom she had a friendship-destroying fight three years ago. Now thrust into a fake dating scenario, Ro and Miller must address the years of pain between them if either of them will have any chance of achieving their dreams.

Fans of Emma Lord and Alex Light will love this stand-alone contemporary novel with a masterful slow-burn romance at its core.

Content Warning: parental abandonment

I saw really good reviews of this book earlier this year when it first came out. I saw it on sale on Book Outlet so I got it and decided to read it by the pool and I was hooked!

I love the childhood best-friends to lovers trope in this one especially because Ro and Miller knew each other so well before something came between them. I love the fake-dating trope that brings them together. I had all the teenage romance feels with this book.

And this isn’t only a romance because Ro is dealing with a few things like her grandmother dying from cancer, her mom who left and never bothered to build a relationship with her, and the biggest thing – making an app that goes viral and trying to capitalize on it. Ro has lots of emotions to deal and tries to bury it all by keeping busy but she eventually realizes she can’t do things alone. Miller is there, her best friend Maven is there, her dad and Vera are there – she is not alone and when she realizes that, she grows.

Speaking of her app, I love how this story explores the role of choice and free will during a person’s life. Ro’s app finds your match but not only in love but also in life overall like your future career and how many kids you will have. But are we supposed to let an app decide our lives? The story reminds us that just because we think we love something or will be one thing or see one path forward, it is never absolute.

This book even made me shed a tear. I wasn’t expecting this book to take me on an emotional ride, but it did.

Favorite quotes from the book:

“I hope you’ll remember that the brain is malleable. That your answers to the survey questions will change, because what you love, and what you want, and who your are will change, too. These unpredictable shifts are supposed to happen. They are the good kind of scary.”

“Usually, when we think no one sees us, we’re still looking at each other…”

“The not knowing is the pain and the joy and the whole damn thing of it. We were never, ever supposed to know.”

Tropes: friends to lovers

Why you should read it:

this one tugged at my heart strings
Ro and Miller ❤️
great coming of age story and questions about our future/paths in life

Why you might not want to read it:

My Thoughts:

I loved this one and I’m glad I went in without knowing what to expect. It’s kind of got everything I want in a young adult contemporary book: a thoughtful and meaningful coming of age story that has emotion, depth and romance. I’m definitely going to be looking forward to reading more books from this author.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

All That’s Left to Say by. Emery | ARC Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: All That’s Left to Say

Author: Emery Lord

Format: eBook (NetGalley)

Pages: 400

Publication Date: 7/18/23

Publisher: Bloomsbury YA

Categories: Young Adult, Grief, Drug Addiction, Romance, Mystery, Contemporary

Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**

Thank you to Bloomsbury YA for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!

A poignant and powerful story of a grieving girl willing to risk everything, perfect for fans of Robin Benway and Jandy Nelson.

On prom night, Hannah MacLaren sits in the headmaster’s office in her fanciest dress, soaked to the bone. She is in huge trouble after pulling the fire alarm right as the prom was about to be crowned. But Hannah had her reasons . . .

One year ago, her cousin Sophie, who was also her best friend and the person she loved most in the world, died of an overdose. Drowning in grief, Hannah became obsessed with one Who gave Sophie those pills? Who is refusing to give her family the closure they deserve?

Then she concocted a enroll at her cousin’s fancy private school with a new look and a mouthful of lies, and finally uncover the truth.

But Hannah didn’t expect all the lines to blur. She didn’t expect Sophie’s friends to be so complicated. She didn’t expect to fall for her longtime enemy. Now, she must choose to either let herself really mourn Sophie and move on, or see her search through to its explosive end–even if it means destroying herself.

Content Warning: grief, drug use

I read this book in one sitting even though I thought at times it moved slowly. It’s about a girl, Hannah, and her cousin who is like a sister to her, Sophie. Sophie dies tragically in a drug overdose and everyone is blindsided by it. Hannah’s purpose is to get to the bottom of who gave Sophie those pills but along the way she learns more about Sophie’s secrets and needing to let go of her pain and embrace life and love again.

Hannah is grieving along with her family and Sophie’s best friend, Gabi. When Gabi and Hannah team up to investigate who could have given Sophie the pills at the party they have to confront a few truths about Sophie as well. I really appreciated how the author considered all sides of the situation. Sophie’s access to the drugs, Sophie purposefully seeking out drugs, the consequences that is appropriate for the one who gave her the drugs, and some solutions a community can offer for people struggling with drug addiction. Hannah’s own father is a recovering alcoholic and he gives her some insight into addiction – some insights that Hannah had a difficult time comprehending. But I like that there was a discussion in this book about grief, secrets, drug addiction, and resources.

There is even romance in this story and it was so unsuspecting! I didn’t expect Hannah and Christian’s interactions to have so much chemistry and spark. The two of them are rivals. Debate team rivals so the arguments between them are epic and so sweet when they both cave in to the attraction between them. I love how he’s there for her because he’s gone through grief as well.

Now Hannah is a flawed character. She loves to argue, she likes things to go her way and she can be stubborn. I was bummed when she let things get so bad between her and her best friend Lincoln but I understand she was going through a rough time with Sophie’s death. She does grow as a character though.

Also the story is told in two timelines, past and present with the past just being one year ago. So there were times I had to backtrack because I lost my place on which timeline I was in – but that might be how the ebook arc is formatted.

The story was too slow to be a thriller, even when they figure out who it was that gave Sophie the pills. There wasn’t anything sinister about finding who did it, because as it’s stated, Sophie was at fault also. And the person who did it was having their own struggles. Overall it’s a tragic story, and an important one about how the opioid epidemic affects family, friends and a community.

Tropes: rivals to lovers

Why you should read it:

a complex story about grief, love, and drug addiction – it kept me intrigued

Why you might not want to read it:

topics about opioid use and grief

My Thoughts:

I’ve read a few Emery Lord books but I think this is her darkest one with heavy themes. But I love how she wrote the story, making the reader question all the aspects of the situation that has taken place. I love that it sheds a light on the opioid epidemic and how shame and judgment is a big part of how someone might not seek treatment. Overall, I thought it was a good read, if a little slow at parts but I still read it in one sitting.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

ARC Review | The Map From Here to There ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Those Summer Nights by. Laura Silverman | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: Those Summer Nights

Author: Laura Silverman

Format: hardcover (borrowed)

Pages: 373

Publication Date: 8/23/22

Categories: Young Adult, Romance, Contemporary, Coming of Age

After recovering from a life-changing injury, a teen girl must navigate a new summer job, an ex-best friend, and two surprisingly attractive coworkers in this romp of a rom-com for fans of Jenny Han and Siobhan Vivian.

Hannah used to be all about focus, back before she shattered her ankle and her Olympic dreams in one bad soccer play. These days, she’s all about distraction—anything to keep the painful memories of her recent past at bay, including the string of bad decisions that landed her at boarding school for a year.

Enter Bonanza, the local entertainment multiplex and site of Hanna’s summer employment. With its mini golf course, bowling alley, and arcade—not to mention her hot, flirty coworker Patrick—Bonanza seems like the perfect way to stay distracted. Until her boss announces the annual Bonanza tournament, a staff competition that brings her past Olympic nightmares crashing back into her present.

On top of that, the Bonanza staff includes Brie, the ex-best friend she cut off last year, and Ethan, her brother’s best friend who became unreasonably attractive in her year away and who accepts her, even knowing her worst secrets. Under the neon lights of Bonanza, Hannah must decide whether she can find a way to discover a new self in the midst of her old life.

Content Warning: alcohol abuse

I wanted to read something with a summer theme and saw Those Summer Nights at the library so I checked it out.

This story follows Hannah and is told in the present with flashbacks of her last year when she lost her grandmother and also got an ankle injury that killed her soccer dreams. She’s competitive, she’s grieving, she’s not someone I connected to or liked but she does have growth. Hannah made some bad choices while she grieved her grandma and her soccer dreams and now she’s facing the consequences. She’s pushed away her friends, especially her best friend Brie and she turned to alcohol, partying and hooking up with boys.

Now she has to follow a recovery plan which includes staying away from partying, finding a job and finding a new passion. She finds a job at the local arcade where it seems everyone goes to work for the summer including her younger Joey, his best friend Ethan and even her ex-best friend Brie. Hannah makes some new friends, repairs her relationship with Brie and even falls in love.

I didn’t think the story would be so heavy with the grief aspect and Hannah spiraling but I could tell she loved her grandmother very much. As far as the romance goes, she falls for her brother’s best friend – which is a friends to lovers romance. It’s cute and they have lots of chemistry but as a personal preference I didn’t like that he was younger, especially her younger brother’s bestie lol…but that’s just ME.

Tropes: found family, friends to lovers

Why you should read it:

it’s a good teen story about making bad choices and learning how to fix mistakes
there is a fun found family story with Hannah and her new coworkers
cute romance

Why you might not want to read it:

Hannah isn’t the most likable MC

My Thoughts:

Sixteen year old me would have devoured this book. As an adult I was a little annoyed with how Hannah chose to deal with grief over her competition dreams and the loss of her grandmother. Obviously she was turning to other coping mechanisms like hooking up with boys but I think she’s relatable and she has had a lot of growth. I was expecting something more light-hearted but overall a solid read.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow by. Laura Taylor Namey | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: A Cuban Girl’s Guide to Tea and Tomorrow

Author: Laura Taylor Namey

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 320

Publication Date: 11/9/20

Publisher: Anetheum Books for Young Readers

Categories: Romance, Coming of Age, Young Adult, Contemporary, Grief, Mental Health, Food

For Lila Reyes, a summer in England was never part of the plan. The plan was 1) take over her abuela’s role as head baker at their panadería, 2) move in with her best friend after graduation, and 3) live happily ever after with her boyfriend. But then the Trifecta happened, and everything—including Lila herself—fell apart.

Worried about Lila’s mental health, her parents make a new plan for her: spend three months with family friends in Winchester, England, to relax and reset. But with the lack of sun, a grumpy inn cook, and a small town lacking Miami flavor (both in food and otherwise), what would be a dream trip for some feels more like a nightmare to Lila…until she meets Orion Maxwell.

A teashop clerk with troubles of his own, Orion is determined to help Lila out of her funk, and appoints himself as her personal tour guide. From Winchester’s drama-filled music scene to the sweeping English countryside, it isn’t long before Lila is not only charmed by Orion, but England itself. Soon a new future is beginning to form in Lila’s mind—one that would mean leaving everything she ever planned behind.

Content Warning: self harm, grief, death of loved one, illness of loved one

I got this book from Book Outlet and decided to make it the book I would read when waiting for my kids in the car pick up line. Well…that didn’t work out so this book was in my car for a few weeks! lol I finally took it out, sat down and read it and I didn’t expect this one to make me emotional, but it did.

+ Lila has a mental breakdown because she got dumped by her boyfriend, her best friend stopped being friends with her and her grandmother died. I loved her character growth throughout the book. She’s stubborn, strong willed and pushy but eventually learns to slow down and listen to the people in her life.

+ Lila and Orion’s love story is a slow burn and so, so sweet. I really liked how it went from a friendship to something more. I love how they fed each other through food and emotions. She fed him Cuban food, he brewed her tea and it was perfect! It made me hungry for Cuban food and afternoon tea all at one time!

+ I loved the side characters like Jules, Flora, Remy and Lila’s Aunt Cate. Family is a big theme in this book as well as friendship but Lila comes from such a big, tight-knit Cuban family that it was so important to her every aspect of her life.

+ Lila is grieving her grandmother, her best friend and her ex-boyfriend and I found myself emotional at times because it is a story about changes and dealing with a new normal. It’s true some friendships don’t last, definitely true some loves end and because it’s life we lose people to death, which is natural. But it can be so much – too much – at one time and Lila really did have to untangle and work through many difficult emotions. She had to learn to be kind to herself and see what she was doing.

~ Though realistic, I was hoping there would be some happy ending for her and her best friend, Stef who we hear a lot about but never get to really meet. It’s sad that their friendship just ends…amicably but still.

Tropes: travel to another country and fall in love, slow burn, summer romance

Spice Level: barely any – few sweet kisses

Why you should read it:

super sweet, slow burn romance – Orion is the sweetest
Lila’s character growth
I like the theme of family, Lila and her roots, Orion and his own family problems and heartaches
love all the food references: Cuban food and English teas

Why you might not want to read it:

some sad topics like grief

My Thoughts:

I found myself getting very emotional in some parts of this book especially when Lila has to make choices about where she belongs. I love her and Orion together, they really did feel like a cozy sweater kind of love, and exactly what Lila needed. I fell in love with their sweet friendship and love. The themes about grief, roots, and family…blood and found, really resonated with me. I look forward to reading more from this author and even to see how the movie turns out!

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

The Guncle by. Steven Rowley | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: The Guncle

Author: Steven Rowley

Format: hardcover (borrowed)

Pages: 326

Publication Date: 5/25/21

Publisher: G.P. Putnam’s Sons

Categories: Contemporary, Fiction, Family, Grief, LGBTQ+

Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is honestly a bit out of his league.

So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick’s brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian. Despite having a set of “Guncle Rules” ready to go, Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. Quickly realizing that parenting—even if temporary—isn’t solved with treats and jokes, Patrick’s eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you’re unfailingly human.

Content Warning: grief, death of a loved one, addiction, anxiety, story of sexual assault

I had my eye on this book since last year and finally got it from my library. I’m glad I did because I felt like it would be a great summer read and it’s Pride month so why not read about a guncle (gay uncle). This book hit me in the feels!

+ Yes Patrick, GUP, Guncle is a bit self-centered and snarky. He is a golden globe winning actor and was a star for a time. He loves to talk about when he was super famous, he loves all things television, movies, broadway, and theatre. But things happened in his life and he’s now in his 40’s and living a quiet life in Palm Springs until he is forced to be out again because his family needs him. His best friend and sister-in-law has passed on, his brother needs to go to rehab and leaves his kids with Patrick. I love how taking care of his niece and nephew scared him but he stepped up in the best way possible. It warmed my heart so much.

+ This book is about relationships and grief. It gave us a peek at how relationships we have with our siblings, the ones or we have with our parents can be messy. Messy and yet it can still be loving. Patrick is relatable in that way. I could also relate to his fear of wanting to love people because he is still stuck in his grief losing his partner, Joe. There is a lot of loss Patrick is dealing with and I felt like his fears were my own. I could totally relate.

+ Patrick’s experiences growing up gay, trying to explain to his sister how he had to protect his inner, real self in the outside world by pretending was such an important point. I love that he could tell his side of this story especially when he was trying to explain it to his sister Clara who in turn felt like she had to struggle also being a woman. Everyone around Patrick had their own trauma and I like that the story was honest and truthful about these struggles.

+ I love the humor – when Patrick is on, he is ON and the children have no clue what he is saying have the time. I can already imagine this book as a tv series, it has that sitcom kind of feel but with some tough issues. I was laughing one moment and then heartbroken the next when the kids talked about missing their mother or Patrick was missing Joe. 😭

Why you should read it:

Patrick is a force – he’s funny, snarky, self-centered but loves his family even though they have problems – no matter, he is there for them the best way he can be.
Patrick with his niece and nephew have such adventures in Palm Springs
This story is full of grief and yet full of hope, the will to survive a broken heart, the beauty of life that come with tragedy. The medicine of laughter and love, family and friends.

Why you might not want to read it:

not into Patrick talking about himself all the time lol…I can picture him talking fast, like how some people just do

My Thoughts:

This one hit my heart with so many feels! The story dealt with so many issues about grief, fear and anxiety – letting go and moving on. It hurt. But I was also laughing when Patrick was trying to take care of two kids for the first time in his life, and he did it without much help – he’s even too afraid to drive! Thank goodness for ride-share! I love that the kids taught him things like youtube lol. But seeing those two kids melt through his guarded heart was a glorious thing. I love that we get Patrick’s point of view as a gay man trying to raise two kids on his own, trying to deal with his grief and figuring out what will be act two in his life after his tv stardom has ended. His journey was rocky but like he said in the end, he survived it…the show must go on. I love Patrick and his family and was rooting for all of them to help each other get through grief, addiction, divorce, resentment and anything else that was holding them back from bonding. This is a beautiful story and I’m glad I finally read it!

📚 ~ Yolanda

Quotes From the Book:

We’re hyper-connected, but at the same time desperately lonely.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle

What do you think gay people do? Have done for generations? We adopt a safe version of ourselves for the public, for protection, and then as adults we excavate our true selves from the parts we’ve invented to protect us. It’s the most important work of our queer lives.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle

I am less of me. I left part of myself with you. I don’t know what it was, but I felt it leave my body the last time I held your hand.|
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle

The sky is not going to fall. That’s what I’m telling you. The pain you feel, the disaster you think is imminent. Those feelings fade. And some day you even miss it. Some days you miss the pain, because you’re afraid. Afraid that as the pain softens so do memories of the one you lost.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle

Grief orbits the heart. Some days the circle is greater. Those are the good days. You have room to move and dance and breathe. Some days the circle is tighter. Those are the hard ones.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle

All My Rage by. Sabaa Tahir | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: All My Rage

Author: Sabaa Tahir

Format: ebooks (borrowed)

Pages: 384

Publication Date: 3/1/22

Publisher: Razorbill

Categories: Family, Grief, Coming of Age, Contemporary, Young Adult

Lahore, Pakistan. Then.
Misbah is a dreamer and storyteller, newly married to Toufiq in an arranged match. After their young life is shaken by tragedy, they come to the United States and open the Cloud’s Rest Inn Motel, hoping for a new start.

Juniper, California. Now.
Salahudin and Noor are more than best friends; they are family. Growing up as outcasts in the small desert town of Juniper, California, they understand each other the way no one else does. Until The Fight, which destroys their bond with the swift fury of a star exploding.

Now, Sal scrambles to run the family motel as his mother Misbah’s health fails and his grieving father loses himself to alcoholism. Noor, meanwhile, walks a harrowing tightrope: working at her wrathful uncle’s liquor store while hiding the fact that she’s applying to college so she can escape him—and Juniper—forever.

When Sal’s attempts to save the motel spiral out of control, he and Noor must ask themselves what friendship is worth—and what it takes to defeat the monsters in their pasts and the ones in their midst.

From one of today’s most cherished and bestselling young adult authors comes a breathtaking novel of young love, old regrets, and forgiveness—one that’s both tragic and poignant in its tender ferocity.

Content Warning: Grief, Death of Loved One, Abuse, Addiction, Overdose, Trauma, Prison, Racism, Islamophobia

I am a fan of Sabaa Tahir because of her fantasy series but her venture into contemporary young adult is powerful. This is not a happy story. It is filled with trauma, hurt, despair and the characters in it just seems so desolate and lost – add to that the setting of a motel in a town near Death Valley in California and I felt as trapped as Noor and Sal does in the book.

Noor is an immigrant, her parents are dead and her uncle brought her to California from Pakistan. She is grateful to him for saving her but her dream is to leave Juniper, California after high school. I cannot imagine what Noor’s been through and then to come to a new country and try to fit in, learn the language and lifestyle? It’s a lot for anyone to deal with – on top of dealing with an uncle who resents her presence. I love that she had good moments though, especially with Salahudin’s mother, Misbah, before she dies. And I adore her love of music. I know she used it to escape the bad things happening in her life but every time she mentioned a song I could totally relate to her mood.

Salahudin’s parents immigrated to California and bought a motel they named the Cloud’s Rest Inn Motel. It was his mother’s dream – she loved running the motel but Sal’s dad is an alcoholic and when his mother gets very ill and dies, it’s up to him to keep things going but he doesn’t know how. He’s a high school student just barely surviving the loss of his mother and his drunk and grieving father. Sal is also dealing with some of his own issues – he hates being touched and doesn’t know why and not sure if he wants to know why.

I love all the characters and how the story unfolds. The characters are solid and I felt I got to know them so well, well enough to care about them. Usually flashbacks in a story can be jarring but having this story told through Noor, Salahudin and Misbah (her tales of the past), were seamless and it flowed so well. As I read the story, I felt rage also – for Noor and Sal. Here are these two high school kids just trying to make the best of their lives. They are strong, they will do what it takes to either get out or keep their family afloat but it seems so lonesome for both of them. I felt like there was hardly anyone in their corner. I also love that this story wasn’t preachy on faith and the message here was that religion is there for comfort, for people to have when they need guidance through life because life is tough. There are so many hard times.

As mentioned above, this story is not light and fluffy. It’s full of despair, it’s raw and real and deals with tough things like drug dealing, drug addiction, racism, discrimination, abuse, death. I wanted to reach into the book and help Noor and Sal because they are just kids! Bless Misbah’s heart – she tried, that dear woman tried her best. They all did the best they could under all the circumstances.

Why you should read it:

a powerful story and wonderful Pakistanis and Muslim representation
it will break your heart and fill you with despair but the writing is so good and the characters are so real
getvto know Noor, Sal and Misbah’s story

Why you might not want to read it:

triggers everywhere so be in the right mood to read this one – a mood to have your heart broken and to rage at the world!

My Thoughts:

This story is a real look at the Pakistani immigrant experience and gives us a peek at the beautiful culture of the people, and the religion of Islam, especially through Misbah’s words, memories and actions. It’s a story about love – love of family, and falling in love with your best friend. It’s a story about many scary things that happen to good people also – drugs, death, abuse, making desperate choices and facing consequences. And also, it’s a story about hope and how to keep going when life doesn’t go as expected. This book is heartbreaking, captivating, and so powerful and definitely a must read.

📚 ~ Yolanda

Quote from the Book:

I’ll survive this. I’ll live. But there’s a hole in me, never to be filled. Maybe that’s why people die of old age. Maybe we could live forever if we didn’t love so completely. But we do. And by the time old age comes, we’re filled with holes, so many that it’s too hard to breathe. So many that our insides aren’t even ours anymore. We’re just one big empty space, waiting to be filled by the darkness. Waiting to be free.|
-Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

Shock has faded into numbness. But grief is an animal I know. It’s retreated for now. But it’ll be back.
-Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

Because what religion—many religions, really—offers is comfort when it’s all too much. A reason for the pain. A hand in the darkness if we reach for it.”
-Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

Sometimes we hold on to things we shouldn’t. People. Places. Emotions. We try to control all of it, when what we should be doing is trusting in something bigger.”
-Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

Rage can fuel you. But grief gnaws at you slow, a termite nibbling at your soul until you’re a whisper of what you used to be.”
-Sabaa Tahir, All My Rage

You’ve Reached Sam by. Dustin Thao | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: You’ve Reached Sam

Author: Dustin Thao

Format: ebooks (borrowed)

Pages: 304

Publication Date: 11/9/21

Publisher: Wednesday Books

Categories: Grief, Romance, Coming of Age

Seventeen-year-old Julie has her future all planned out—move out of her small town with her boyfriend Sam, attend college in the city, spend a summer in Japan. But then Sam dies. And everything changes.

Heartbroken, Julie skips his funeral, throws out his things, and tries everything to forget him and the tragic way he died. But a message Sam left behind in her yearbook forces back memories. Desperate to hear his voice one more time, Julie calls Sam’s cellphone just to listen to his voicemail.

And Sam picks up the phone.

In a miraculous turn of events, Julie’s been given a second chance at goodbye. The connection is temporary. But hearing Sam’s voice makes her fall for him all over again, and with each call it becomes harder to let him go. However, keeping her otherworldly calls with Sam a secret isn’t easy, especially when Julie witnesses the suffering Sam’s family is going through. Unable to stand by the sidelines and watch their shared loved ones in pain, Julie is torn between spilling the truth about her calls with Sam and risking their connection and losing him forever.

Content Warning: Grief, Death of Loved One

First off, I love this book cover, it’s so pretty and perfectly reflects the story. Julie and Sam had future plans but the future changes when Sam dies in a car accident.

Julie is grieving and grieving has many stages – we see Julie go through lot of them in this story about love, death and letting go. As a character Julie comes off as unlikable but what do we really know about her outside of grieving Sam? I’ve experienced grief but not in high school, when you are young and think life is so long. Some people see Julie as selfish for not attending any of Sam’s memorials or even the funeral, others know to give her space and maybe a break. Everyone grieves differently. I did find it kind of wild that she was trying to get rid of some of Sam’s things a week after he died. Like…I know we all grieve differently but wow, I couldn’t part with my late husband’s things after just a week, even if it was hard to look at it.

I thought talking with Sam through the phone was interesting. It definitely helped her get through some of the beginning stages of losing Sam but other than that, I didn’t see the point except when we hear Sam’s explanation. That part almost made the tears come – almost! I thought it would be super emotional for me but surprisingly, it wasn’t as heartbreaking as I thought it would be. I think it’s because there really wasn’t any conflict between Sam and Julie until the night of the accident, which sucks bad, but everyone can see how it was an accident and that they were crazy about one another. Strangely, I felt it was more meaningful when Sam got to talk to Mika and his brother, because they were having a hard time with his death.

As for Julie moving on – I didn’t feel like she really did have a life outside of Sam. Her connection to her friends wasn’t a strong one, the one she did seem close to, Mika (Sam’s cousin) – was someone she pushed away the moment Sam dies. I thought that sucked for Mika who clearly needed a friend and someone who knew Sam like she did. But the great thing about her is that she does try her best to move on with the help of Sam and her friends.

Why you should read it:

takes a look at grieving and the different ways people grieve
Sam and Julie’s sweet love story
see how Julie learns to move on

Why you might not want to read it:

didn’t really connect to the characters
at some points Julie comes off as unlikable but she’s grieving, she’s in high school on the verge of graduating and lost her first love in a tragic accident but she does come off as immature as times

My Thoughts:

For me this book was okay – I was expecting to be bawling my eyes out but I didn’t. In a way I’m relieved I didn’t cry my eyes out but I wanted to feel more than I did. This is a story that takes a look at grieving and moving on. Julie does move on, with a little help from Sam.

📚 ~ Yolanda

Quote from the Book:

Letting go isn’t about forgetting. It’s balancing moving forward with life, and looking back from time to time, remembering the people in it.”
-Dustin Thao, You’ve Reached Sam

Meet Me in Paradise by. Libby Hubscher | Book Review

My Rating: 4.5/5 Stars

Title: Meet Me in Paradise

Author: Libby Hubscher

Format: eBook (borrowed)

Pages: 350

Publication Date: 3/23/21

Publisher: Berkley

Categories: Sisterhood, Family, Grief, Cancer, Romance

Marin Cole has never:
Seen the ocean
Climbed a mountain
Taken a risk on love
….But if her sister’s plan works, she just might do all three.

Ever since her journalist mother died on assignment, Marin has played it safe, refusing to set foot outside the state of Tennessee. Her wild-child younger sister, Sadie, has trotted the globe as a photographer, living off of art and adrenaline.

When Sadie returns from a tough assignment abroad and looks a little worse for wear, Marin reluctantly agrees to a sisters’ spa weekend on the tropical island of Saba. But her lifelong fear of travel is affirmed when Sadie misses the flight, Marin’s luggage gets mixed up with another passenger’s, and an episode of turbulence sends her hurtling into the lap of Lucas Tsai, the handsome stranger who stole her sister’s seat.

For the first time in a long time, Marin has to step outside of her comfort zone as she explores the island with Lucas and learns what she’s been missing out on. With each breathtaking new experience, Marin gets closer to her real self, the man she’s falling for, and the heart-wrenching truth about why she’s there in the first place.

Warning!! This is not a cutesy rom-com. Please don’t go into this one thinking it’s this funny cute rom-com because of the vibrant cover. That’s what I did – and I ended up crying a lot while reading this book.

It starts off with two sisters – it’s mostly told through Marin’s POV but Sadie comes in here and then because she has a story to tell as well. Sadie is the wild child and Marin is the safe and anxious one but there is a reason for that due to their mom’s death when they were young. But Sadie wants Marin to break out of her shell and she definitely makes that happen.

Marin finds herself waiting on the tropical island of Saba for her sister who has decided to blackmail her to have fun. I thought that was cute and you can tell right away these sisters are close, which is heartwarming. Marin even finds herself doing unexpected things on the island with Lucas Tsai who is rich, and gorgeous. From the moment Marin touches down in Saba it’s a very beachy kind of summer read, but things take a turn at the end.

There is a big twist in the story though and one that is heartbreaking. Oh my heart!

Let’s just say yes this is a story about love – one that is so deep between sisters and also a love that is newly found even through the pain of what they are all dealing with. I did love how Marin and Lucas get to know each other in the week they are together, fast maybe? They’re both adults though, and it happens – it’s not insta-love or anything just a really good time.

This story deals with a lot of grief and that topic always speaks to me personally.

Triggers: grief, death, cancer

This book is emotional from the middle onward – bust out the tissues! If you don’t want to read a book about grieving – stay away from this one. For me I thought the story was beautiful from beginning to end, but that’s me. I love Marin and Sadie. Marin and Lucas was just bonus.

Lucas at times came off hot and cold but he also is going through grief, having had lost his dad just recently. Then he went through everything with Marin and Sadie. It made me think this man is strong emotionally and I’m glad Marin had him. I know their romance had to take a backseat in the second half of the story but I didn’t mind. I thought it was cute how they found each other again – the time apart was good and I’m glad Marin got to explore on her own a little.

The book cover is misleading and I went into this expecting some hot summer fling story but what I got was Marin’s personal journey through breaking through her anxiety and then dealing with grief from her past and present. Marin grows a lot and meets so much people on the island of Saba that are kind, and open, something she was missing in her life. She needs that kindness when life deals her more heartbreak. Lucas is there too – with space or open arms, and ready to climb any mountains with her. It’s a story about sisters who love each other so much. It turned out to be a beautiful story about love in the past, present and future.

📚 ~ Yolanda

Quotes from the Book:

It’s a special kind of torture when the one person you want when you’re lost in a black ocean is the very person who just blew up your boat.”
~ Meet Me in Paradise by. Libby Hubscher

It is a truth almost universally acknowledged by survivors that you will ask yourself if you missed something. If you should have known.”
~ Meet Me in Paradise by. Libby Hubscher

I’m not as brave. But I am, finally, after all this time, myself. I’m not all the way there yet, but every day I spend out here on my own in places I’ve never been, the closer I get.”
~ Meet Me in Paradise by. Libby Hubscher

I wasn’t ready to be without you. But I’m doing it.”
~ Meet Me in Paradise by. Libby Hubscher

Float Plan by. Trish Doller | Book Review

My Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

Title: Float Plan

Author: Trish Doller

Format: eBook (Overdrive Library)

Pages: 272

Publication Date: 3/02/21

Publisher: St. Martin’s Griffin

Categories: Contemporary, Romance, Sailing, Grief, Mental Health

Critically acclaimed author Trish Doller’s unforgettable and romantic adult debut about setting sail, starting over, and finding yourself…

Since the loss of her fiancé, Anna has been shipwrecked by grief—until a reminder goes off about a trip they were supposed to take together. Impulsively, Anna goes to sea in their sailboat, intending to complete the voyage alone.

But after a treacherous night’s sail, she realizes she can’t do it by herself and hires Keane, a professional sailor, to help. Much like Anna, Keane is struggling with a very different future than the one he had planned. As romance rises with the tide, they discover that it’s never too late to chart a new course.

In Trish Doller’s unforgettable Float Plan, starting over doesn’t mean letting go of your past, it means making room for your future.

Love the cover because it’s so bright and yellow. Makes you think of a happy story and yet Anna our main character is dealing with grief throughout the book.
I related to Anna’s grief a lot because I lost my first husband in my late 20’s. So everything she felt, I’ve been through but I like that even though the topic is heavy – Anna being on the water, learning how to sail and navigate foreign waters was therapeutic not only for her as a character but me as a reader. It keep her moving forward, working through the grief and I appreciated that about the story. Also the dog she adopts, Queenie? I wouldn’t have gotten through my grief without my dogs. 💗 They are angels on earth.
Keane, her crew mate and eventually lover is the sweetest. I love how good he is, not only to her, but overall. Even with his own challenges about his past, his kindness is beautiful. Anna needed that.
I found all the sailing terminology go over my head because I am not a sailor but I loved learning what I could and imagining what each part of the boat is. I loved that Anna had to learn to sail because Keane wasn’t in her plans for the path home. She did it, even if she was scared. As for me, I’d suck at sailing ~ I need my comforts like a bed, a shower every day haha and internet but the idea of roughing it out there under the stars every night sounds amazing.
The setting of this book is really fantastic. I’m an island girl, I live in Hawaii, but I’m not a sailor and I have never sailed to any of the islands nearby, I think our waters are very different from the Caribbean where you can reach so many different islands, daily. So I loved island hopping with Anna and Keane! I hope to visit these islands one day and learn more about the history and people that live there. I’m glad they mentioned how the slavery trade made an impact there.

Triggers: triggers, grief, suicide, accident/injury

Even though Anna is grieving I didn’t feel immersed in her grief while reading this, maybe because the sailing keeps her moving. She was never really stuck and I know being stuck and grieving is one of the scariest places to be. So this book didn’t trigger me as much as I thought it would, which I liked!
I do like how Anna and Keane’s relationship progressed very slowly but for the most part, they are friends. They don’t flirt a lot with another, and that’s to respect Anna’s space as she grieves, but when they do get together, I don’t feel explosions – it’s more of a nice melting into one another that they do. It really feels like a friendship that blossoms into love, the sex is an added bonus, but you know it’s deeper than that with both of them. So don’t expect a lot of romance from the beginning of this book ~ this is Anna’s journey of grief.

As a romance book, this one is a slow burn and barely a burn at that, more like a comforting warmth by the end. As a book about a woman grieving her fiance and trying to move her life forward, I think it hit a lot of the right spots. Anna learns to sail and open her heart again on this adventure through the Caribbean. She hits some bumps along the way but ultimately she learns to navigate her life on her own again, with the help of Keane, and for someone who has experienced grief on that level, I found Anna’s journey inspirational.

⛵️ ~ Yolanda

I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter | Book Review

My Rating: 3.5/5 Stars

Title: I Am Not Your Perfect Mexican Daughter

Author: Erika L. Sanchez

Format: paperback (own)

Pages: 368

Categories: Young Adult, Family, Friendship, Grief, Mental Health, Identity, Coming of Age, Sexual Situations

The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian meets Jane the Virgin in this poignant but often laugh-out-loud funny contemporary YA about losing a sister and finding yourself amid the pressures, expectations, and stereotypes of growing up in a Mexican American home.

Perfect Mexican daughters do not go away to college. And they do not move out of their parents’ house after high school graduation. Perfect Mexican daughters never abandon their family.

But Julia is not your perfect Mexican daughter. That was Olga’s role.

Then a tragic accident on the busiest street in Chicago leaves Olga dead and Julia left behind to reassemble the shattered pieces of her family. And no one seems to acknowledge that Julia is broken, too. Instead, her mother seems to channel her grief into pointing out every possible way Julia has failed.

But it’s not long before Julia discovers that Olga might not have been as perfect as everyone thought. With the help of her best friend, Lorena, and her first love (first everything), Connor, Julia is determined to find out. Was Olga really what she seemed? Or was there more to her sister’s story? And either way, how can Julia even attempt to live up to a seemingly impossible ideal?

Julia is a Mexican American teen who is feeling trapped by grief and her family with their strict rules. I could relate to Julia even though I am not Mexican American, my parents are immigrants, so I remember not understanding some of their rules even silly ones like not shaving your legs. I couldn’t understand my parents, just like how Julia couldn’t understand hers. Her story is very relatable to me.
Julia is so judgmental until near the end when she becomes so overwhelmed with her thoughts and feelings about Olga’s death, her mom, herself…that I realized she needed help. I thought it was powerful that we saw her coasting through life, angrily and acting out (but nothing too crazy), thinking she’s going to be okay, she just needs to let time heal woulds and all that and then the situation becomes dangerous. This is very relatable too – how many of us think we feel trapped, not realizing we need help? I remember that in my teen years and beyond as well. I’m glad we see how Julia gets the help she needs.
I liked when Julia goes to Mexico. It reminded me of my parents taking us on our family trip to the Philippines when I was 7 years old. I remember seeing and hearing my dinner being killed, and butchered. It was quite an eye opening trip. But it was nice to learn more about Julia’s family in Mexico and glad she had that time to feel a bit freer from her anxiety.
Julia as a character is real as can be, her thoughts aren’t censored, she judges everyone harshly but it was refreshing. She wasn’t likable, but she didn’t even like herself, and who does like themselves as a teenager? Julia is dealing with so many things at one time: grief, her mom’s rules, trying to please her parents/family, hating her life, and investigating Olga’s past. She is imperfect and I loved the scenes where she is finally acknowledging her thoughts out loud to someone else who listens without judging her.

Triggers: grief, suicidal ideation, violence, sexual harassment
I thought this story moved slowly in the beginning and it almost lost my attention, especially since I thought investigating Olga’s past was the main thing about this story – but nothing much happens there until the big reveal at the end.

Despite it being a slow moving story, it is powerful in the way it explores immigrant Mexican American families, grief and mental health issues. None of us are perfect but most of us live with the pressure from our parents or other family members to be their idea of perfect. Julia was not about to conform to their ideals but she felt trapped and didn’t know who to talk to about it. This is a great book for teens coming of age.

📖 ~ Yolanda