My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Title: The Guncle
Author: Steven Rowley
Format: hardcover (borrowed)
Pages: 326
Publication Date: 5/25/21
Publisher: G.P. Putnam’s Sons
Categories: Contemporary, Fiction, Family, Grief, LGBTQ+
Patrick, or Gay Uncle Patrick (GUP, for short), has always loved his niece, Maisie, and nephew, Grant. That is, he loves spending time with them when they come out to Palm Springs for weeklong visits, or when he heads home to Connecticut for the holidays. But in terms of caretaking and relating to two children, no matter how adorable, Patrick is honestly a bit out of his league.
So when tragedy strikes and Maisie and Grant lose their mother and Patrick’s brother has a health crisis of his own, Patrick finds himself suddenly taking on the role of primary guardian. Despite having a set of “Guncle Rules” ready to go, Patrick has no idea what to expect, having spent years barely holding on after the loss of his great love, a somewhat-stalled career, and a lifestyle not-so-suited to a six- and a nine-year-old. Quickly realizing that parenting—even if temporary—isn’t solved with treats and jokes, Patrick’s eyes are opened to a new sense of responsibility, and the realization that, sometimes, even being larger than life means you’re unfailingly human.
Content Warning: grief, death of a loved one, addiction, anxiety, story of sexual assault
I had my eye on this book since last year and finally got it from my library. I’m glad I did because I felt like it would be a great summer read and it’s Pride month so why not read about a guncle (gay uncle). This book hit me in the feels!
+ Yes Patrick, GUP, Guncle is a bit self-centered and snarky. He is a golden globe winning actor and was a star for a time. He loves to talk about when he was super famous, he loves all things television, movies, broadway, and theatre. But things happened in his life and he’s now in his 40’s and living a quiet life in Palm Springs until he is forced to be out again because his family needs him. His best friend and sister-in-law has passed on, his brother needs to go to rehab and leaves his kids with Patrick. I love how taking care of his niece and nephew scared him but he stepped up in the best way possible. It warmed my heart so much.
+ This book is about relationships and grief. It gave us a peek at how relationships we have with our siblings, the ones or we have with our parents can be messy. Messy and yet it can still be loving. Patrick is relatable in that way. I could also relate to his fear of wanting to love people because he is still stuck in his grief losing his partner, Joe. There is a lot of loss Patrick is dealing with and I felt like his fears were my own. I could totally relate.
+ Patrick’s experiences growing up gay, trying to explain to his sister how he had to protect his inner, real self in the outside world by pretending was such an important point. I love that he could tell his side of this story especially when he was trying to explain it to his sister Clara who in turn felt like she had to struggle also being a woman. Everyone around Patrick had their own trauma and I like that the story was honest and truthful about these struggles.
+ I love the humor – when Patrick is on, he is ON and the children have no clue what he is saying have the time. I can already imagine this book as a tv series, it has that sitcom kind of feel but with some tough issues. I was laughing one moment and then heartbroken the next when the kids talked about missing their mother or Patrick was missing Joe. 😭
Why you should read it:
- Patrick is a force – he’s funny, snarky, self-centered but loves his family even though they have problems – no matter, he is there for them the best way he can be.
- Patrick with his niece and nephew have such adventures in Palm Springs
- This story is full of grief and yet full of hope, the will to survive a broken heart, the beauty of life that come with tragedy. The medicine of laughter and love, family and friends.
Why you might not want to read it:
- not into Patrick talking about himself all the time lol…I can picture him talking fast, like how some people just do
My Thoughts:
This one hit my heart with so many feels! The story dealt with so many issues about grief, fear and anxiety – letting go and moving on. It hurt. But I was also laughing when Patrick was trying to take care of two kids for the first time in his life, and he did it without much help – he’s even too afraid to drive! Thank goodness for ride-share! I love that the kids taught him things like youtube lol. But seeing those two kids melt through his guarded heart was a glorious thing. I love that we get Patrick’s point of view as a gay man trying to raise two kids on his own, trying to deal with his grief and figuring out what will be act two in his life after his tv stardom has ended. His journey was rocky but like he said in the end, he survived it…the show must go on. I love Patrick and his family and was rooting for all of them to help each other get through grief, addiction, divorce, resentment and anything else that was holding them back from bonding. This is a beautiful story and I’m glad I finally read it!
📚 ~ Yolanda
Quotes From the Book:
We’re hyper-connected, but at the same time desperately lonely.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle
What do you think gay people do? Have done for generations? We adopt a safe version of ourselves for the public, for protection, and then as adults we excavate our true selves from the parts we’ve invented to protect us. It’s the most important work of our queer lives.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle
I am less of me. I left part of myself with you. I don’t know what it was, but I felt it leave my body the last time I held your hand.|
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle
The sky is not going to fall. That’s what I’m telling you. The pain you feel, the disaster you think is imminent. Those feelings fade. And some day you even miss it. Some days you miss the pain, because you’re afraid. Afraid that as the pain softens so do memories of the one you lost.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle
Grief orbits the heart. Some days the circle is greater. Those are the good days. You have room to move and dance and breathe. Some days the circle is tighter. Those are the hard ones.”
~ Steven Rowley, The Guncle