You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty by. Akwaeke Emezi | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

Author: Akwaeke Emezi

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 288

Publication Date: 5/24/22

Publisher: Atria Books

Categories: Adult Fiction, Romance, Grief, LGBT+ , Contemporary

Feyi Adekola wants to learn how to be alive again. 

It’s been five years since the accident that killed the love of her life and she’s almost a new person now—an artist with her own studio, and sharing a brownstone apartment with her ride-or-die best friend, Joy, who insists it’s time for Feyi to ease back into the dating scene. Feyi isn’t ready for anything serious, but a steamy encounter at a rooftop party cascades into a whirlwind summer she could have never imagined: a luxury trip to a tropical island, decadent meals in the glamorous home of a celebrity chef, and a major curator who wants to launch her art career. 

She’s even started dating the perfect guy, but their new relationship might be sabotaged before it has a chance by the dangerous thrill Feyi feels every time she locks eyes with the one person in the house who is most definitely off-limits. This new life she asked for just got a lot more complicated, and Feyi must begin her search for real answers. Who is she ready to become? Can she release her past and honor her grief while still embracing her future? And, of course, there’s the biggest question of all—how far is she willing to go for a second chance at love?

Akwaeke Emezi’s vivid and passionate writing takes us deep into a world of possibility and healing, and the constant bravery of choosing love against all odds.

Content Warning: car accident memories, grief, death, profanity

I saw this book on my Overdrive online library and borrowed it because I see this author’s name everywhere and have yet to read one of their books. This was a very interesting, layered, complicated and messy romance story and I feel like I’m still processing how it made me feel, but here are some things off that bat I can say that I worked and didn’t work for me:

+ I like the real talk in this story. Feyi has a best friend named jour and it’s a relationship where they can talk about anything and I mean anything from sex, dating, feelings even if all of it is messy. Joy brought the humor and she is my favorite character in the whole book.

+ This is not a romance with an easy happily ever after. I felt like this was very realistic with complicated relationships. I myself could relate with Feyi about being a young widow and all of her pain and grief, wanting to feel alive by being reckless – I felt that, and I related to that. There is a lot of sex positivity and diversity in this story.

+ I appreciated the in-depth looks into the themes about grief, about relationships and trying to love again after experiencing trauma. Because I like my romance books in a certain way, I had to really set judgment aside (at some points it was challenging). I know relationships aren’t so concrete and black and white most times, sometimes it’s more of a gray area like presented in this book.

~ I’m not sure what I thought of Feyi’s dating style. She was hopping around, trying to feel something after being so numb from the grief of losing her husband ~ and I understand the whole what-does-it-really-matter-anyway-in-this-life because yes, our lives do come to an end so will all this matter anyway? I remember searching for those same answers trying to make sense of life when I was grieving. But I wasn’t into Feyi and Alim’s love story by the time it happens. I didn’t feel invested in their romance. It was too insta-attraction, not enough build up for me. I just knew it was going to leave shattered feelings around them also and I felt bad for the people who got hurt. But once again, this story examines choices…so, it is what it is but I wasn’t into it.

~ I could understand and relate to Feyi’s grief but as a character I didn’t connect to her. She’s very beautiful and everyone is drawn to her. She felt superficial but maybe on purpose because she had so much anger and grief and a multitude of issues going on underneath. It’s how she gets through life now post trauma – leaving things at the surface level until she meets Alim. But she comes off selfish at times too. How was Nasir someone who doesn’t understand grief? Did he not lose his mother, does his pain not matter?

Tropes: second chance at love, insta-attraction, insta-love

Spice Level: 🌶🌶🌶

Why you should read it:

• it’s one of those books you will either love or hate, but it is thought provoking
• not a typical happy ending romance, this is messy and complicated, people get hurt because of Feyi and Alim’s actions
• tackles issues like sex, love and relationships, and also death and grieving

Why you might not want to read it:

• messy and complicated
• this is not a typical romance that leave you with fuzzy, happy feelings

My Thoughts:

I’m on the fence about this one since I’m still processing it. In terms of it being a romance, it’s a no – it’s too messy for me. I felt like Feyi and Alim had a comforting relationship between them because they shared experiences of loss and grief but other than that – it wasn’t for me. As for delving into grief and loss and how to move on from that, I related and loved those parts of the story. Feyi expressing how she feels through her art? I felt that. Having the characters be open with relationships, bisexual representations and sex positivity – all good. My favorite relationship for Feyi in all of this? Was her ride or die relationship with Joy, her best friend. I loved that Feyi had her. I may not have loved this story but it sure made me think a lot and I can appreciate that.

📚 ~ Yolanda

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Quotes from the Book:

She liked the city as an entity better; it didn’t care who you were or what your damage was, it ate everyone up indiscriminately.”

~Akwaeke Emezi, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

And that’s something I’ve learned in the years since, that there are so many different types of love, so many ways someone can stay committed to you, stay in your life even if y’all aren’t together, you know? And none of these ways are more important than the other.”

~Akwaeke Emezi, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

yeah, I guess messy and alive is a good way to put it.”

~Akwaeke Emezi, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty

What did survival mean? Madness, certainly. Guilt, but she didn’t want to lean into that. It leaned into you hard enough already, it didn’t need encouragement.”

~Akwaeke Emezi, You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty