Pages: 384 / Audio Reading Time (approx.): 10 hours
Publication Date: 2/17/25
Categories: Romance, Contemporary, Poets, Rivals to Lovers
A former sorority girl starts a prestigious poetry MFA program only to discover that one of her fellow grad students is her high school crush-turned-nemesis—who can’t stop writing about her.
No one’s more surprised than Leigh when a prestigious MFA program in North Carolina accepts her. A former sorority girl, Leigh’s the first to admit she knows more about the lyrics of Taylor Swift than T.S. Eliot, and she’s never been able to shake the “all-style-no-substance” feedback her high school crush made in their poetry workshop. Bad enough that her tattooed, New Yorker tote bag-carrying classmates have read all the right authors and been published in the country’s leading literary journals, Leigh’s insecurities become all too real when Will, that same high school crush-turned-nemesis, shows up at orientation as a first-year in the program, too. And now, he’s William, exactly the kind of writer Leigh hates, complete with his pretentious sweater vests and tattered Moleskine.
Leigh’s determined to prove herself—and William—wrong by landing the program’s highly-coveted fellowship. But Will’s dead-set on it, too, and in a small cohort, they can’t keep apart for long. When Will submits an intimate poem (that’s maybe, probably, definitely about Leigh) to workshop, they’re both forced to realize there’s more to the other than what’s on the page. And what’s between the lines may be even more interesting.
Content Warning: body image issues, anxiety, parents going through a divorce, mental health
+ Leigh is dealing with her parents’ divorce, and is in a MFA program because she wants to write poetry instead of go back to a corporate job. On top of that she’s dealing with body issues, anxiety and she’s judgmental towards other poets, especially towards male, white poets! She had a lot going on and so much to work through. There is a lot of mental health and therapy discussed in this story and I appreciate how she’s very real and imperfect.
+ Leigh has always crushed on Will so when they are in the MFA program together they finally get to spend more time with one another. Will is very closed off and not great at expressing his feelings. He and Leigh have a lot of challenges trying to express how they feel about one another. There is mistrust, there is fear of being intimate (emotionally), it was a lot of back and forth. They eventually work things out but it took a lot to get there.
+ I thought the secondary characters in the MFA program helped open Leigh’s world up. There were some fun characters, like Leigh’s best friend who kept things real with her.
~ Leigh is very judgmental to the point it was a bit irritating. We get it, she hates white male poets, a LOT. And wants to write poems about pop culture, mostly Taylor Swift. The group could have judged her but they didn’t, so I thought it sucked how she kept hating on poets who study classic poetry. Will calls her out on it eventually but yes, she’s imperfect which is very relatable and at least she was going to therapy.
~ Leigh writes poetry about pop culture, a lot about Taylor Swift so it you aren’t into books mentioning her name all the time, you might want to skip this.
~ Miscommunication is a big conflict in this story. She holds animosity against Will because of the way he critiqued Leigh’s work in high school – one critique! And he doesn’t even remember doing it when she confronts him at the end about it.
Final Thoughts:
I found the audiobook pretty easy to listen to and I was really into this story about people in an MFA program for poetry – I thought that was a unique story. What I didn’t love was Leigh who is imperfect (which is relatable, and I do like that about her) but so judgmental about other poets, it really turned me off to her. And to hold that grudge against Will over one critique – she was kind of exhausting as a character. They eventually work through relationship issues but it was a lot of back and forth.
Twenty-seven-year-old screenwriter Elle has the chance of a lifetime to write a big-budget movie set in New York City. The only problem? She’s had writer’s block for months, and her screenplay is due at the end of the summer.
In a desperate attempt at inspiration, Elle ends up back in the city she swore she would never return to, in an apartment she could never afford (floor-to-ceiling windows, skyline views, and a new coffee shop to haunt included). It’s the perfect place to write her screenplay…until she realizes her new neighbor is tech “Billionaire Bachelor” Parker Warren, her stairwell hookup from two years ago. It’s been a lovers-to-enemies situation ever since.
When seeing him again turns into a full night of hate-fueled writing, Elle realizes her enemy/twisted muse might just be the key to finishing her screenplay… if she can stand being around her polar opposite. She writes anonymously, and he’s on the cover of every business magazine. He frequents fancy red carpeted events, and she doesn’t like leaving her emotional support five block radius.
One summer. One wall apart. He needs to fake a buzzy relationship during his company’s precarious acquisition. She needs to write a movie around a list of NYC locations. Both need a break from their unrelenting schedules, and a chance to rediscover the skyscraper glimmering, pizza crusted, sunlit charms of the city.
Summers always end, and so will this agreement. It’s all pretend. Promise.
Until it isn’t.
Content Warning: parental illness/death
+ I finally read my copy of this book and I’m glad I saved it for summer because I was definitely in the mood for it now.
+ Elle is an anonymous, famous screen-writer who hates New York City even though she went to college at Columbia. But it gives her bad memories of her mom being sick, so college wasn’t easy for her. She also had a fleeting moment with a stranger in a club who ended up being a very famous tech billionaire but she also has bad memories of that too, only because he came off like he wanted to buy her time. Fast-forward a few years and she bumps into him again but this time he convinces her to fake-date him for PR reasons and it will be his one free summer before his company gets sold and he gets busy.
+ I love how the fake-dating and Elle’s screen-writing project takes them all over New York City. The book transported me to the city and made me think of my own fond memories of the one trip I took there years ago. It’s definitely place that feels like anything can happen and the author captures that.
+ Parker is a green-flag fake boyfriend! Even if he came off like he was a jerk in their first meeting, every meeting after that showed how he was a nice guy. I loved him. As for Elle, she’s not going to be likable to many readers because she’s cynical and mad at Parker for nothing. She has major trust issues because of how her dad treated her mom. I can see why she is the way she is. I liked seeing these two people take the summer to get to know one another and it is a slow burn. All the spice comes near the end!
~ This was almost a 4-5 star read for me and then the fake-dating contract ends abruptly, because of Elle and that’s not the only conflict. There is another moment where Elle pulls away again, but I get why because things were happening too soon, too fast and too much, but she so tested my patience. Those two break-ups was unnecessary and brought my enjoyment of the book lower. Parker is a saint for being as patient with her as he was. I get that she had issues but this guy clearly is in love with her and wants to give her the world, patience and understanding that she doesn’t think she deserves. It could have ended perfectly with a happy ever after, but those two moments just ruined it for me.
Final Thoughts:
I saw that this book was going to made into a movie and I think it will be great as a rom-com film because of how it’s set in NYC. Even though I didn’t love the break-up moments, I still think overall this is a fun, perfect for summer reading, rom-com book. I also think I like this author’s contemporary book more than her fantasy series, and will be interested to see if she writes more.
Categories: Young Adult, Romance, Coming of Age, Contemporary, Fake Dating
Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**
Thank you to Delacorte Romance for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
When a fashion influencer with a luxe Parisian life and a fake musician boyfriend meets a “normal” guy and begins to date him on the sly, she must rethink all of her lies—and consider whether they might have a little too much truth in them.
Seventeen-year-old Aurie McGinley lives an envied life as a fashion influencer in Paris, sharing a manager with, and fake dating up-and-coming musical god Remy St. Julien. Girls throw themselves at Remy, but he’s always just been her best friend. She doesn’t have time for a real boyfriend.
Until she bumps into normal guy, Kylian, while fleeing paparazzi. Kylian is the type of guy her mother wants her to date. In fact, her family would rather she focus on school and getting into an elite college than showcasing the latest runway haute couture. Aurie begins to think Kylian is the guy for her, too.
She’s fake dating one guy, while actually dating another—all while keeping up a constant, live video diary. But then a fake kiss with Remy turns steamy and her head is scrambled. Could her best friend really be the one for her? Aurie must tune out everyone else’s expectations to focus on herself and discover what she really wants.
Content Warning: paparazzi
+ This young adult romance is set in Paris, and Aurie is a fashion influencer who documents her daily life and it is her rise to fame. She is fake-dating her best-friend, a famous musician named Remy. They got together to chase more fame but now she’s wondering what is happening to their friendship.
+ This is a really quick, light, fluffy read. I love the setting of Paris and learning about the education system and the tests they have to take. Of course the French food being featured in the book sounds delicious. The romance involves Aurie fake-dating two boys, until she dates one for real. But you can kind of tell where this story is going from the beginning and I did like that both boys were nice.
+ Aurie is trying to figure her life out. She’s a successful influencer but she still has parents who want her to attend college. But with parents who are divorced, one in America and one in France, she has to make some hard choices. She also can’t make those choices until she finishes the test that all highschoolers in France have to take, the Le Bac. But Aurie has a problem with learning math and has a disability called dyscalculia, which I never even heard of so I learned something.
~ The fake dating both boys occurs almost 60% into the book and doesn’t actually make me believe she has feelings for Kylian at all.
Final Thoughts:
I did like the author’s first book better than this one, but this one did have it’s charm and it’s set in Paris. This one is a cute, easy, light young adult romance.
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers
Categories: Young Adult,Contemporary Fantasy, Romance
Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**
Thank you to Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
From #1New York Times bestselling author Shea Ernshaw comes a haunting romantic contemporary fantasy about a teen navigating her family’s love curse that blooms with their enchanted tulips every year.
Seventeen year-old Lark Goode wants only one to escape her small town of Cutwater and the history of her family name. It’s a history that began during the Dutch tulip mania of 1636, when Lark’s ancestor stole the last remaining tulip bulbs and fled to America. But when the tulips bloomed on American soil, madness sprouted from their snowy white petals.
The madness was love.
Now, generations later, the Goodes remain cursed—the unnatural flowers outside their home causing locals to fall helplessly in love with anyone carrying Goode blood in their veins. While her brother embraces the strange power, Lark wants nothing more than to be free from it.
But when she meets a boy who seems unaffected by the family curse, Lark finds herself falling headlong into a feeling she’s spent her whole life trying to avoid. Yet, all curses and magic come with a price, and the town of Cutwater soon sinks into a dangerous sickness tied to Lark and the ill-fated tulips.
To save the town, Lark will need to sacrifice everything—even true love—to break the spell. Because in the Goode family, love has a way of destroying everything.
+ This is a really interesting book that starts off with two teens who are twins, Archer and Lark. They live in a very small town and their family name is cursed because of the tulips that grow in their yard. Yes, magical tulips. Apparently the tulips have so much pheromone that anyone who is carrying the tulip will have people fall in love with them. It’s why Archer can get the girls he wants, it’s how he survives. It’s why Lark wants to leave the town and never look back because how can she tell how really loves her if the tulip draws people to her?
+ Lark meets a boy, Oak, who claims he is from another town over, and that the tulips don’t affect him. During Spring when the tulips are in bloom, the town is in a frenzy. The romance between Lark and Oak is insta-love and heavy but written beautifully because who isn’t scared and vulnerable when falling in love? The author captures all of it – the feelings, fear, not being sure, the questions, the push and pull, the running away, and the wanting. Questioning love was the whole point of the story. We see Lark and her aversion to love because how her parents left them. And with her romance with Oak, she doesn’t know if it’s the tulips or if it’s real. And is it love or obsession?
~ If you don’t like insta-love and angst you might not like this. It actually triggered memories of my first real heartbreak when I was young, but in a good way since I can look back without any bad feelings. So in essence, this story did it’s job in capturing young love and heartbreak and questioning what love is. I mean, who knows what it is in your teen years. But everyone at that age thinks they know.
~ The parents were just non-existent in this book. They left these kids to fend for themselves! Who does that? Addictive tulips or not…talk about parental neglect.
~ I would have loved to get more information about the family curse, and where it originates. Also the ending is an interesting choice for sure!
Final Thoughts:
Oh to be young and in love dealing with all the unknowns, fears and obsession. It’s not fun when you aren’t sure it’s reciprocated and to make matters worse, you add magic, potent tulips that enhances the feelings? Sounds like madness. I think the young adults will enjoy this one. It was a bit too dramatic for me, but I did love how the author captured the madness of falling in love.
Categories: Young Adult, Survival, Adventure, Romance, Celebrity Romance
Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**
Thank you to Blackstone Publishing, Inc. for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
She hates him. He needs her. Can they survive when all they have is each other?
Zander Rune was the darling of Hollywood until he fell from glory and was labelled a problematic bad boy. His public image needs fixing—fast—or he’ll lose the role of a lifetime, and all his dreams with it.
Charlie Hart is a regular teenage girl who despises everything Zander represents. But thanks to her scheming best friend and an ill-timed social media competition, Charlie finds herself pretending to be Zander’s biggest fan on a four-day reality TV adventure led by renowned survivalist Rykon Hawke.
When their trip goes horribly wrong, Charlie and Zander are left stranded in the wilderness. No Rykon, no film crew, no rescue. The only way they’ll survive is if they trust each other. But in order to do so, both will have to let go of the ghosts of their pasts, and just maybe find themselves—and one another—in the process.
Content Warning: near death experience, near drowning, snakes, mention of drunk driving, mention of being drugged, mention of suicide attempt, death of parents, cancer, grief
+ I’ve been really enjoying books from this author – her writing style is easy to get into and flows so well. I like how there was a lot of action in this book and moments that were filled with so much tension.
+ Zander and Charlie have been through some trauma in their lives so being on this survival adventure bonds them even more though it doesn’t start of that way. Charlie doesn’t want to be on this trip but she’s doing it for her best friend, whereas Zander really needs this to change his Hollywood bad-boy image so he can get a role he is coveting. I liked seeing the journey of the relationship even though it’s only a 4 day adventure.
+ I love the themes of friendships and even the hardships both character have experienced. I like that the both of them have their own issues and this trip really pushed them quickly to face them. In the end they are better for it, but I love that Charlie has Ember and Zander has Summer and Maddox.
+ The romance isn’t a focus, which is nice, it’s sweet.
~ It is an insta-love story, I mean Zander and Charlie only know one another for 4 days! But they go through more than what couples do in 4 days, so I do think it’s believable that they could fall for one another that fast, especially after near-death experiences with one another.
~ The twist in the story didn’t leave me feeling happy for Zander or Charlie. I thought that really sucked for them. I’m glad they could get over it quickly but it sucked, even though Zander got what he wanted. Kind of wish that wasn’t glazed over so quickly.
Final Thoughts:
I found this to be a very entertaining read especially with the survival adventure going on and Zander and Charlie needing to stay alive because of unforeseen circumstances. I thought the romance was sweet and I love the theme of friendship. I think the author did a great job with her debut into contemporary young adult fiction and look forward to reading more.
Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**
Thank you to St. Martin’s Press for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
It’s a thin line between love and love-hating.
Katie Vaughn has been burned by love in the past—now she may be lighting her career on fire. She has two choices: wait to get laid off from her job as a video producer or, at her coworker Cole’s request, take a career-making gig profiling Tom “Hutch” Hutcheson, a Coast Guard rescue swimmer in Key West.
The catch? Katie’s not exactly qualified. She can’t swim—but fakes it that she can.
Plus: Cole is Hutch’s brother. And they don’t get along. Next stop paradise!
But paradise is messier than it seems. As Katie gets entangled with Hutch (the most scientifically good looking man she has ever seen . . . but also a bit of a love hater), along with his colorful Aunt Rue and his rescue Great Dane, she gets trapped in a lie. Or two.
Swim lessons, helicopter flights, conga lines, drinking contests, hurricanes, and stolen kisses ensue—along with chances to tell the truth, to face old fears, and to be truly brave at last.
Content Warning: negative body image, death of parents, mention of accident, water rescue in a hurricane
+ Katie needs to keep her job so she agrees to go on an assignment she is only half qualified for. But she’ll do anything, even take swim lessons in a bathing suit even though she has major body issues. She meets Hutch, who is her supervisor’s brother, and is the person she needs to make a documentary about. Katie is pushed beyond her comfort zones but it helps her grow a lot.
+ What makes this book so charming and probably are my favorite parts of this bookis the Gals (the bunch of elderly women at the place she is staying at) who is trying to hook her up with Hutch in subtle ways. And then there is George Bailey the sweetest Great Dane ever! He’s scared of thunder (just like my dog!) and loves to hold toads in his mouth – I loved him so much! Also Katie’s best-friend Beanie was a lot of fun, plus their phone calls are very relatable if you have a best-friend like that.
+ I feel like Katie’s body image issues are so relatable. There were so many times she said something and I was like yeah, I’ve thought that of my body before. It’s crazy and sad to know how mean we can be to our own selves. But you could tell Katie’s issues were painful for her and she’s been working on herself.
+ The romance was a very slow burn, there is no spice, there are a few kisses and that’s it. I think I wanted a little more flirting on Hutch’s part though but I think that’s just his personality. I thought the two of them had a nice friendship and banter going throughout the story.
~ Really wanted a little more chemistry between Katie and Hutch but like I said, I think that’s just both their personalities and it worked for them at least. They are both “love haters”.
~ Pacing wise, I think there was a little lull in the middle, probably because Hutch wasn’t the best at flirting haha, and then there was lots of action at the end which I enjoyed.
Final Thoughts:
Katie and Hutch really complimented each other – they had fun banter and he really helped her with accepting herself but she also helped bring his family closer in a way. I did want more chemistry and flirting but that’s just personal preference. Overall, I thought this was an enjoyable read especially with George Bailey, the Gals and Beanie bringing in the charm and the laughs. Definitely a fun read for the summer!
Categories: Romance, Series, Dark Romance, Billionaire Romance
He had everything he could’ve wanted…except her.
Dangerous. Powerful. Reclusive.
Vuk Markovic is notorious for shunning human interactions. The scarred billionaire rarely talks, and he has no interest in relationships outside his small but trusted circle.
His only exception? Her . The beauty to his beast, the object of his obsession.
He saw her first. He wanted her first. But now, she’s engaged to his oldest friend—and the closer the wedding looms, the more he’s torn between loyalty and desire.
She should be his…and he might just risk it all to have her.
*** Beautiful. Successful. Glamorous.
To the world, supermodel Ayana Kidane leads the perfect life. Her career has skyrocketed, and she’s engaged to one of New York’s most eligible bachelors.
What people don’t know is that the engagement is only a business arrangement. He gets his inheritance when they marry; she gets the money she needs to leave her abusive agency.
Pretending to be in love should be easy—until she finds herself increasingly drawn to her fiancé’s enigmatic best man.
Vuk thrills and terrifies her in equal measure. She knows she should stay away, but when her wedding is thrown into chaos, he’s the only person she finds comfort in…
Until his past catches up with them and threatens everything they love.
Content Warning: violence, sexual assault, kidnapping
+ This is book #5 of the Kings of Sin series and I didn’t love the last two books. #4 was better than #3 but still I went into this one cautiously and I think this one was slight better than the last one at least when it came to the characters.
+ Ayana is a supermodel and about to marry someone she doesn’t love, but she’s friends with, Jordan. Jordan’s best-friend, Vuk, wants Ayana. So there is that complication which kind of gets solved at the wedding ceremony. I will say the romance between Ayana and Vuk was good. Vuk is all yearning and Ayana is looking at him in a new light when she gets to spend more time with him. Vuk doesn’t speak much, he mostly uses sign-language but when he does speak…it’s with Ayana which I thought was sweet. It’s clear Vuk was always in love with her so seeing them get together was my favorite part of this book.
+ This one is a slow burn, because Ayana is engaged to Jordan. But once she and Vuk give into one another’s attraction, it gets spicy.
~ Though I love Ayana and Vuk’s romance, this story is too long. It’s at 530 pages and really could have been 350 pages or no more than 400. None of the Brotherhood (organized crime) storyline kept my interest. It added a lot of violence and action but still, I was just okay about it and skimmed.
Final Thoughts:
If you like Beauty and the Beast vibes, you will enjoy this book. I did like it better than her last 2 books in this series but I do think it could have been shorter – it didn’t need to be over 500 pages long. I still think King of Wrath is my favorite book from this series, but I did love Ayana and Vuk as a couple in King of Envy.
Categories: Contemporary, Paranormal, Romance, Young Adult, Gothic, Horror, Thriller, Mystery
Disclaimer: **I received this book free from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. All thoughts and opinions are my own.**
Thank you to Henry Holt and Co. for giving me a chance to read this eARC in exchange for an honest review!
A contemporary YA gothic romance about a dark family secret, a lush, mysterious garden, and a love that never dies, from New York Times bestselling author Goldy Moldavsky.
Aspiring artist Rose Pauly is not happy moving from her home in New York City right before her senior year of high school. But on her first miserable day in Connecticut, she meets Hart Hargrove. The two share an immediate, undeniable connection.
Hart introduces Rose to his slice of paradise–the immense private garden nestled behind the Hargrove family mansion. There, the two spend a fever dream of a summer together. But as their bond blossoms into love, Rose can’t shake the feeling that all is not as it seems.
When Rose uncovers the truth about the garden, she’s forced to question how genuine her love story truly is. But Hart can’t bear to lose Rose, and he will stop at nothing to save their relationship.
Posing haunting questions about beauty and desire, this is an atmospheric and darkly romantic tale that will enthrall readers.
Content Warning: violence, grief, accident, body horror
+ The twist in this story blew my mind, it’s the one book this year that has made my jaw drop.
+ Rose is new to town, but right away she meets Hart Hargrove. He’s popular, he lives on the biggest estate in town – an estate whose gardens are infamous for secret, exclusive parties. Rose and Hart fall madly in love, almost insta-love, but there are clues along the way in this book where it feels like something is off. Something doesn’t feel right with their love story.
+ The grief that is presented in this book is heartbreaking. I could understand the decisions of Hart and his twin, Heather, but when everything is revealed, it made my heart ache for all of them involved. Without spoiling the story, I couldn’t imagine what they were going through.
+ Though the love story about Rose and Hart feels invincible and meant to be, there is a dark, sinister undertone to this story. It shows up in the garden parties and Rose’s best friend, Llowell. There is some body horror but really brief and the ending is wild with action and violence.
~ Because I knew there was something off to the romance, and some moments of the “future” sprinkled in as the story went on…I did get confused. But I’m glad I pushed through to the end – the end though, it’s an open ending which shocked me.
Final Thoughts:
This story is creative, dark, has a gothic contemporary atmosphere and the romance is heady but it’s also so sad and tragic. It explored a lot of topics like love, grief, friendship, and wishes. But if you could make your wishes come true, what would you be willing to give up? The ending of this story made my jaw drop and I think it’s one of those books that I’ll never forget.
Categories: Romance, Academia, New Adult, Mystery, Enemies to Lovers
When Ophelia Winters accepts a scholarship at a prestigious Scottish university to prove that her parents’ death was the fault of Cain Green, an American aviation tycoon, her plan is simple; keep her grades up and her head down. The last thing she wants is to wind up in a mafia war or step on the toes of royalty.
Her plan gets off to a rocky start when the mysterious man that almost kills her on her first day turns out to be Cain’s eldest son. As far as she’s concerned, Alex Corbeau-Green is a younger version of his billionaire father. A monster hiding beneath a beautiful facade.
Loneliness has been Ophelia’s only dependable companion for years, but when anonymous threats and mysterious occurrences start to haunt her time at Sorrowsong, she wonders if she really can survive there on her own.
Between being paired together for a project and ending up as each other’s alibi for a murder, avoiding Alex becomes increasingly impossible. She begins to fall for the soft heart that hides beneath his hard exterior.
Tormented by a malicious stalker and growing closer to Alex, Ophelia’s desperation for revenge wavers for the first time. Can she really bring herself to pull the trigger on Cain now that she knows the family it’ll split into two?
Content Warning: violence, stalking, bullying
+ I randomly picked this off of Kindle Unlimited because of the cover, and the synopsis. And I devoured it in one night! 😳 It’s a dark academia, new adult story that includes an atmospheric setting in Scotland at a place called Sorrowsong University where the students are divided into four houses and the students that attend are the rich of the rich. There are even kids from Mafia families there. Ophelia is there for revenge but then she meets Alex Corbeau-Green and her world is changed.
+ The setting is in Scotland and it’s dreary, cold, wet and the buildings are drafty, old, and barely has a wifi signal. But it lends to the mystery that takes place in the story. Ophelia is trying to figure out who caused the event that killed her parents and that’s why she’s at the school. She has a suspect in mind but after someone starts stalking her at school she has to go back to the drawing board and find more evidence.
+ Ophelia is alone after her parents death and she craves attention and affection but she doesn’t know how to make friends, or how to allow people to be close to her. She definitely doesn’t fit in with the rich kids but I like that she doesn’t let that stop her from talking to kids. She is determined to find more evidence about her parents death and I did feel for her – she’s so alone.
+ Now let me talk about Alex. Alex was a major red flag when they met, too hot, tatted, rich, friends with the Mafia kids, he smokes and then we find out he has like 6 sisters and a mom with mental health issues and he takes care of them the best he can from overseas?! Oh and he plays rugby. The more the story went on and he interacts with his sisters, and you can see how loyal he is to his friends and then how he’s trying not to fall for Ophelia but he’s always there taking care of her. I fell for him – I can see why Ophelia fell too even though she tried to stay away from him. Book boyfriend alert!
+The banter between Ophelia and Alex is so good. At one point they were flirting with emails and crossword references (because she loves crossword puzzles!) – swoon! I can’t get enough of them! And it’s a slow burn, they don’t really do anything until later – they start off as enemies and even when they turn into lovers I didn’t feel it was too graphic. And their spicy scenes were fade to black. I thought their romance was beautiful with both of them being vulnerable and opening up to one another (at least Alex did).
~ The book was predictable – I could tell who instigated Ophelia’s parents death pretty quick but I still enjoyed getting from the beginning to the end of the book. The end leaves our lovers in some heartbreaking drama but I know when they fix it in book two, it’s going to be epic or I hope it will. There is also another twist at the end which I thought was good.
~ Ophelia was not the best investigator for this murder mystery. She got caught several times trying to find evidence and she’s not one to really ask for help since she is a lonely girl – who does she really know and trust? She did make some friends but we’ll see what happens after that ending.
Final Thoughts:
I’m going to say all the stars for this book I’m giving to Alex (and all his yearning) and his patience with all the females in his life 🥺, the enemies to lovers romance and the BANTER that was taking place in this story. I was eating it all up. Yes, the story was predictable but I enjoyed it anyway and need to know when book two is coming out!
This unsettling adult debut from Kylie Lee Baker follows a biracial crime scene cleaner who’s haunted by both her inner trauma and hungry ghosts as she’s entangled in a series of murders in New York City’s Chinatown. Parasite meets The Only Good Indians in this sharp novel that explores harsh social edges through the lens of the horror genre.
Cora Zeng is a crime scene cleaner in New York City’s Chinatown, washing away the remains of brutal murders and suicides. But none of that seems so terrible when she’s already witnessed the most horrific thing possible: in the early months of 2020, her sister Delilah was pushed in front of a train as Cora stood next to her. Before fleeing the scene, the murderer whispered two words: bat eater.
So the bloody messes don’t really bother Cora—she’s more bothered by the possible germs on the subway railing, the bare hands of a stranger, the hidden viruses in every corner. And by the strange spots in her eyes and that food keeps going missing in her apartment. Of course, ever since Delilah was killed in front of her, Cora can’t be sure what anxiety is real and what’s in her head. She can barely keep herself together as it is.
She pushes away all feelings, ignoring the bite marks that appear on her coffee table, ignoring the advice of her aunt to burn joss paper and other paper replicas of items to send to the dead and to prepare for the Hungry Ghost Festival, when the gates of hell open. Ignores the dread in her stomach as she and her weird coworkers keep finding bat carcasses at their crime scene cleanups. Ignores the scary fact that all their recent cleanups have been the bodies of Asian women.
But as Cora will soon learn, you can’t just ignore hungry ghosts.
Book Excerpt:
ONE
April 2020
East Broadway station bleeds when it rains, water rushing down from cracks in the secret darkness of the ceiling. Someone should probably fix that, but it’s the end of the world, and New York has bigger problems than a soggy train station that no one should be inside of anyway. No one takes the subway at the end of the world. No one except Cora and Delilah Zeng.
Delilah wanders too close to the edge of the platform and Cora grabs her arm, tugging her away from the abyss of the tracks that unlatches its jaws, waiting. But Delilah settles safely behind the yellow line and the darkness clenches its teeth.
Outside the wet mouth of the station, New York is empty. The China Virus, as they call it, has cleared the streets. News stations flash through footage of China—bodies in garbage bags, guards and tanks protecting the city lines, sobbing doctors waving their last goodbyes from packed trains, families who just want to fucking live but are trapped in the plague city for the Greater Good.
On the other side of the world, New York is so empty it echoes. You can scream and the ghost of your voice will carry for blocks and blocks. The sound of footsteps lasts forever, the low hum of streetlights a warm undercurrent that was always there, waiting, but no one could hear it until now. Delilah says it’s unnerving, but Cora likes the quiet, likes how much bigger the city feels, likes that the little lights from people’s apartment windows are the only hint of their existence, no one anything more than a bright little square in the sky.
What she doesn’t like is that she can’t find any toilet paper at the end of the world.
Apparently, people do strange things when they’re scared of dying, and one of them is hoarding toilet paper. Cora and Delilah have been out for an hour trying to find some and finally managed to grab a four-pack of one-ply in Chinatown, which is better than nothing but not by much.
They had to walk in the rain because they couldn’t get an Uber. No one wants Chinese girls in their car, and they’re not the kind of Chinese that can afford their own car in a city where it isn’t necessary. But now that they have the precious paper, they’d rather not walk home in the rain and end up with a sodden mess in their arms.
“The train isn’t coming,” Cora says. She feels certain of this. She feels certain about a lot of things she can’t explain, the way some people are certain that God exists. Some thoughts just cross her mind and sink their teeth in. Besides, the screen overhead that’s supposed to tell them when the next train arrives has said DELAYS for the last ten minutes.
“It’s coming,” Delilah says, checking her phone, then tucking it away when droplets from the leaky roof splatter onto the screen. Delilah is also certain about many things, but for different reasons. Delilah chooses the things she wants to believe, while Cora’s thoughts are bear traps snapping closed around her ankles.
Sometimes Cora thinks Delilah is more of a dream than a sister, a camera flash of pretty lights in every color that you can never look at directly. She wraps herself up in pale pink and wispy silk and flower hair clips; she wears different rings on each finger that all have a special meaning; she is Alice in Wonderland who has stumbled out of a rabbit hole and somehow arrived in New York from a world much more kind and lovely than this one.
Cora hugs the toilet paper to her chest and peers into the silent train tunnel. She can’t see even a whisper of light from the other side. The darkness closes in like a wall. The train cannot be coming because trains can’t break through walls.
Or maybe Cora just doesn’t want to go home, because going home with Delilah means remembering that there is a world outside of this leaky station.
There is their dad in China, just a province away from the epicenter of body bags. And there is the man who emptied his garbage over their heads from his window and called them Chinks on the walk here. And there is the big question of What Comes Next? Because another side effect of the end of the world is getting laid off.
Cora used to work the front desk at the Met, which wasn’t exactly what an art history degree was designed for and certainly didn’t justify the debt. But it was relevant enough to her studies that for a few months it stopped shame from creeping in like black mold and coating her lungs in her sleep. But no one needs museums at the end of the world, so no one needs Cora.
Delilah answered emails and scheduled photo shoots for a local fashion magazine that went belly-up as soon as someone whispered the word pandemic, and suddenly there were two art history majors, twenty-four and twenty-six, with work experience in dead industries and New York City rent to pay. Now the money is gone and there are no careers to show for it and the worst part is that they had a chance, they had a Nai Nai who paid for half their tuition because she thought America was for dreams. They didn’t have to wait tables or strip or sell Adderall to pay for college but they somehow messed it up anyway, and Cora thinks that’s worse than having no chance at all. She thinks a lot of other things about herself too, but she lets those thoughts go quickly, snaps her hands away from them like they’re a hot pan that will burn her skin.
Cora thinks this is all Delilah’s fault but won’t say it out loud because that’s another one of her thoughts that no one wants to hear. It’s a little bit her own fault as well, for not having her own dreams. If there was anything Cora actually wanted besides existing comfortably, she would have known what to study in college, wouldn’t have had to chase after Delilah.
But not everyone has dreams. Some people just are, the way that trees and rocks and rivers are just there without a reason, the rest of the world moving around them.
Cora thinks that the water dripping down the wall looks oddly dark, more so than the usual sludge of the city, and maybe it has a reddish tinge, like the city has slit its own wrists and is dying in this empty station. But she knows better than to say this out loud, because everything looks dirty to her, and Cora Zeng thinking something is dirty doesn’t mean the average human agrees—at least, that’s what everyone tells her.
“Maybe I’ll work at a housekeeping company,” Cora says, half to herself and half to the echoing tunnel, but Delilah answers anyway.
“You know that’s a bad idea,” she says.
Cora shrugs. Objectively, she understands that if you scrub yourself raw with steel wool one singular time, no one likes it when you clean anything for the rest of your life. But things still need to be cleaned even if Delilah doesn’t like it, and Cora thinks there are worse things than leaning a little bit into the crazy parts of you. Isn’t that what artists do, after all? Isn’t that the kind of person Delilah likes? The tortured artist types who smoke indoors and paint with their own blood and feces.
“Mama cleaned toilets for rich white people because she had no choice,” Delilah says. “You have a college degree and that’s what you want to do?”
Cora doesn’t answer at first because Mama means Delilah’s mom, so Cora doesn’t see why her thoughts on Cora’s life should matter. Cora doesn’t have a Mama. She has a Mom, a white lady from Wisconsin who probably hired someone else’s mama to clean her toilet.
Cora quite likes cleaning toilets, but this is another thing she knows she shouldn’t say out loud. Instead, she says, “What I want is to make rent this month.”
Legally, Cora’s fairly certain they can’t be evicted during the pandemic, but she doesn’t want to piss off their landlord, the man who sniffs their mail and saves security camera footage of Delilah entering the building. He price-gouges them for a crappy fourth-floor walkup in the East Village with a radiator that vomits a gallon of brown water onto their floor in the winter and a marching band of pipes banging in the walls, but somehow Cora doubts they’ll find anything better without jobs.
Delilah smiles with half her mouth, her gaze distant like Cora is telling her a fairy tale. “I’ve been burning lemongrass for money energy,” Delilah says. “We’ll be fine.” This is another thing Delilah just knows.
Cora hates the smell of lemongrass. The scent coats her throat, wakes her up at night feeling like she’s drowning in oil. But she doesn’t know if the oils are a Chinese thing or just a Delilah thing, and she hates accidentally acting like a white girl around Delilah. Whenever she does, Delilah gives her this look, like she’s remembered who Cora really is, and changes the subject.
“The train is late,” Cora says instead of acknowledging the lemongrass. “I don’t think it’s coming.”
“It’s coming, Cee,” Delilah says.
“I read that they reduced service since no one’s taking the train these days,” Cora says. “What if it doesn’t stop here anymore?”
“It’s coming,” Delilah says. “It’s not like we have a choice except waiting here anyway.”
Cora’s mind flashes with the image of both their skeletons standing at the station, waiting for a train that never comes, while the world crumbles around them. They could walk— they only live in the East Village—but Delilah is made of sugar and her makeup melts off in the rain and her umbrella is too small and she said no, so that’s the end of it. Delilah is not Cora’s boss, she’s not physically intimidating, and she has no blackmail to hold over her, but Cora knows the only choice is to do what Delilah says. When you’re drowning and someone grabs your hand, you don’t ask them where they’re taking you.
A quiet breeze sighs through the tunnel, a dying exhale. It blows back Delilah’s bangs and Cora notices that Delilah has penciled in her eyebrows perfectly, even though it’s raining and they only went out to the store to buy toilet paper. Something about the sharp arch of her left eyebrow in particular triggers a thought that Cora doesn’t want to think, but it bites down all the same.
Sometimes, Cora thinks she hates her sister.
It’s strange how hate and love can so quietly exist at the same time. They are moon phases, one silently growing until one day all that’s left is darkness. It’s not something that Delilah says or does, really. Cora is used to her small annoyances.
It’s that Delilah is a daydream and standing next to her makes Cora feel real.
Cora has pores full of sweat and oil, socks with stains on the bottom, a stomach that sloshes audibly after she eats. Delilah is a pretty arrangement of refracted light who doesn’t have to worry about those things. Cora wanted to be like her for a very long time, because who doesn’t want to transcend their disgusting body and become Delilah Zeng, incorporeal, eternal? But Cora’s not so sure anymore.
Cora peers into the tunnel. We are going to be stuck here forever, Cora thinks, knows.
But then the sound begins, a rising symphony to Cora’s ears. The ground begins to rumble, puddles shivering.
“Finally,” Delilah says, pocketing her phone. “See? I told you.”
Cora nods because Delilah did tell her and sometimes Delilah is right. The things Cora thinks she knows are too often just bad dreams bleeding into her waking hours.
Far away, the headlights become visible in the darkness. A tiny mouth of white light.
“Cee,” Delilah says. Her tone is too delicate, and it makes coldness curl around Cora’s heart. Delilah tosses words out easily, dandelion parachutes carried about by the wind. But these words have weight.
Delilah toys with her bracelet—a jade bangle from their Auntie Zeng, the character for hope on the gold band. Cora has a matching one, shoved in a drawer somewhere, except the plate says love, at least that’s what Cora thinks. She’s not very good at reading Chinese.
“I’m thinking of going to see Dad,” Delilah says.
The mouth of light at the end of the tunnel has expanded into a door of brilliant white, and Cora waits because this cannot be all. Dad lives in Changsha, has lived there ever since America became too much for him, except it’s always been too much for Cora too and she has nowhere to run away to, her father hasn’t given her the words she needs. Delilah has visited him twice in the last five years, so this news isn’t enough to make Delilah’s voice sound so tight, so nervous.
“I think I might stay there awhile,” Delilah says, looking away. “Now that I’m out of work, it seems like a good time to get things settled before the pandemic blows over.”
Cora stares at the side of Delilah’s head because her sister won’t meet her gaze. Cora isn’t stupid, she knows what this is a “good time” for. Delilah started talking about being a model in China last year. Cora doesn’t know if the odds are better in China and she doubts Delilah knows either. All she knows is that Delilah tried for all of three months to make a career of modeling in New York until that dream fizzled out, smoke spiraling from it, and Delilah stopped trying because everything is disposable to her, right down to her dreams.
Cora always thought this particular dream would be too expensive, too logistically complicated for Delilah to actually follow through on. Worst-case scenario, they’d plan a three-week vacation to China that would turn into a week and a half when Delilah lost interest and started fighting with Dad again. The idea of flying during a pandemic feels like a death sentence, but Cora has already resigned herself to hunting down some N95 respirators just so Delilah could give her modeling dream an honest try.
Because even if Delilah tends to extinguish her own dreams too fast, Cora believes in them for all of their brief, brilliant lives. If Cora ever found a dream of her own, she would nurture it in soft soil, measure out each drop of water, each sunbeam, give it a chance to become. So Cora will not squash her sister’s dreams, not for anything.
“I’ll just put my half of the rent on my credit card until I find work,” Delilah says, “so you won’t need a new roommate.”
Then Cora understands, all at once, like a knife slipped between her ribs, that Delilah isn’t inviting Cora to come with her.
Of course she isn’t. Delilah has a mama who speaks Mandarin to her, so Delilah’s Chinese is good enough to live in China. But Cora’s isn’t. Delilah would have to do everything for her, go everywhere with her because she knows Cora would cry just trying to check out at the supermarket. Delilah could do it for her, but she doesn’t want to.
Cora suddenly feels like a child who has wandered too far into a cave. The echoes become ghosts and the darkness wraps in tight ribbons around your throat and you call for a mom who will never come.
Cora’s hands shake, fingers pressing holes into the plastic wrap of the toilet paper, her whole body vibrating with the sheer unfairness of it all. You can’t string someone along their whole life and then just leave them alone one day holding your toilet paper in a soggy train station.
“Or you could stay with your aunt?” Delilah says. “Then you wouldn’t have to worry about rent. It would be better for both of us, I think.”
Auntie Lois, she means. Mom’s sister, whose house smells like a magazine, who makes Cora kneel in a confessional booth until she can name all her sins. Delilah has decided that this is Cora’s life, and Delilah is the one who makes decisions.
Delilah keeps talking, but Cora can’t hear her. The world rumbles as the train draws closer. The white light is too bright now, too sharp behind Delilah, and it illuminates her silhouette, carves her into the wet darkness. Delilah has a beautiful silhouette, the kind that men would have painted hundreds of years ago. Cora thinks about the Girl with a Pearl Earring, and the Mona Lisa, and all the beautiful women immortalized in oil paint, and wonders if they said cruel things too, if their words had mattered at all or just the roundness of their eyes and softness of their cheeks, if beautiful people are allowed to break your heart and get away with it.
The man appears in a flash of a black hoodie and blue surgical mask.
He says two words, and even though the train is rushing closer, a roaring wave about to knock them off their feet, those two words are perfectly clear, sharp as if carved into Cora’s skin.
Bat eater.
Cora has heard those words a lot the past two months. The end of the world began at a wet market in Wuhan, they say, with a sick bat. Cora has never once eaten a bat, but it has somehow become common knowledge that Chinese people eat bats just to start plagues.
Cora only glances at the man’s face for a moment before her gaze snaps to his pale hand clamped around Delilah’s skinny arm like a white spider, crunching the polyester of her pink raincoat. Lots of men grab Delilah because she is the kind of girl that men want to devour. Cora thinks the man will try to kiss Delilah, or force her up the stairs and into a cab, or a thousand things better than what actually happens next.
Because he doesn’t pull her close. He pushes her away.
Delilah stumbles over the yellow line, ankle twisting, and when she crashes down there’s no ground to meet her, just the yawning chasm of the train tracks.
The first car hits her face.
All at once, Cora’s skin is scorched with something viscous and salty. Brakes scream and blue sparks fly and the wind blasts her hair back, the liquid rushing across her throat, under her shirt. Her first thought is that the train has splashed her in some sort of track sludge, and for half a second that is the worst thought in the entire world. The toilet paper falls from Cora’s arms and splashes into a puddle when it hits the ground and There goes the whole point of the trip, she thinks.
Delilah does not stand up. The train is a rushing blur of silver, a solid wall of hot air and screeching metal and Delilah is on the ground, her skirt pooling out around her. Get up, Delilah, Cora thinks, because train station floors are rainforests of bacteria tracked in from so many millions of shoes, because the puddle beneath her can’t be just rainwater—it looks oddly dark, almost black, spreading fast like a hole opening up in the floor. Cora steps closer and it almost, almost looks like Delilah is leaning over the ledge, peering over the lip of the platform.
But Delilah ends just above her shoulders.
Her throat is a jagged line, torn flaps of skin and sharp bone and the pulsing O of her open trachea. Blood runs unstopped from her throat, swirling together with the rainwater of the rotting train station, and soon the whole platform is bleeding, weeping red water into the crack between the platform and the train, feeding the darkness. Cora is screaming, a raw sound that begins somewhere deep inside her rib cage and tears its way up her throat and becomes a hurricane, a knife-sharp cry, the last sound that many women ever make.
But there’s no one to hear it because New York is a dead body, because no one rides the subway at the end of the world. No one but Cora Zeng.
About the Author:
Author Bio:
Kylie Lee Baker is the Sunday Times bestselling author of The Keeper of Night duology, The Scarlet Alchemist duology, and the forthcoming adult horror Bat Eater. She grew up in Boston and has since lived in Atlanta, Salamanca, and Seoul. Her writing is informed by her heritage (Japanese, Chinese, and Irish), as well as her experiences living abroad as both a student and teacher. She has a BA in creative writing and Spanish from Emory University and a master of library and information science degree from Simmons University.