A Study in Drowning by. Ava Reid | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: A Study in Drowning

Author: Ava Reid

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 378

Publication Date: 9/19/23

Categories: Young Adult, Gothic, Mystery, Romance, Academia

Effy Sayre has always believed in fairy tales. Haunted by visions of the Fairy King since childhood, she’s had no choice. Her tattered copy of Angharad—Emrys Myrddin’s epic about a mortal girl who falls in love with the Fairy King, then destroys him—is the only thing keeping her afloat. So when Myrddin’s family announces a contest to redesign the late author’s estate, Effy feels certain it’s her destiny.

But musty, decrepit Hiraeth Manor is an impossible task, and its residents are far from welcoming. Including Preston Héloury, a stodgy young literature scholar determined to expose Myrddin as a fraud. As the two rivals piece together clues about Myrddin’s legacy, dark forces, both mortal and magical, conspire against them—and the truth may bring them both to ruin.

Content Warning: sexual assault, neglectful parent, misogyny, grooming, smoking

Okay this book has been on my radar for awhile and I saw good and bad reviews for it so I had to read it for myself.

+ It has very gothic, academia vibes to it which was nice and it was what I was expecting. Effy is an architect and takes on a project for the estate of one of her favorite writers, Emrys Myrddin. The estate is a fantastic gothic setting with tales about the Fairy King and the “drowning”, and the mystery about Myrddin and his writings. I like how Preston and Effy were investigating his writings.

+ Effy is a fascinating character and at times an unreliable one. She’s beautiful, all the men tell her so and they are drawn to her – she even got into a situation with her professor, which has caused her to be an outcast at school. She’s afraid of men because of what happened to her and she deals with a lot of misogyny. Her mother basically hates her – which is awful. She’s alone and needs help but doesn’t have anyone on her side until she meets Preston, who off the bat, she doesn’t like at all. Effy also has these nightmares about the Fairy King and takes sleeping pills so she is mysterious herself. The themes about misogyny and power imbalances are very present in this book though and there were a few quotes that hit home.

There was an intimacy to all violence, she supposed. The better you knew someone, the more terribly you could hurt them.”
– A Study in Drowning by. Ava Reid

Lying was a form of survival, a way out of whatever trap had been set.”
– A Study in Drowning by. Ava Reid

You don’t have to take up a sword. Survival is bravery, too.”
– A Study in Drowning by. Ava Reid

+ I did like Preston and Effy’s interactions because he’s this stuffy, uptight literary student. I think the most Effy has ever stood up to a guy was to Preston – she wasn’t afraid of him and he didn’t make her feel unsafe, which I liked about him. As for the chemistry between them – there is tension for sure, but I also felt at times they would have been great just been really good friends.

~ I think there was a lot going on in this book and I chose to stay focused on the Myrddin mystery – basically that’s the whole reason Preston and Effy are at the estate in the first place. There is a war also going on in the book and there is Effy’s nightmares about the Fairy King and I was confused at times if Effy was experiencing things with this Fairy King or it was all in her head.

~ At times the setting or I should say time period, was confusing. I know it’s basically an alternate Earth, countries names are all made up, and the world they live in kind of felt like the 1940’s-ish and I’m just going off of them smoking cigarettes and drinking hard liquor a lot. Effy also mentioned something like girls at school usually come away with a ring and engaged – so that sounds like to 1940’s or earlier to me. I enjoyed the setting but at times I felt like I was confused about certain things about this world.

My Final Thoughts:

I think I read this at the right time – the weather here has been rainy and the gothic setting of this book and the lyrical writing was perfect for my mood. It is a dark story dealing with misogyny, parental neglect, power imbalances and even grooming. I do think the world building at times was somewhat confusing or something was mentioned and not explained fully. The romance was a sweet spot in the story with Preston and Effy being a sort of rivals to lovers relationship. I thought Effy’s journey from being alone to finally having someone in her corner and being kind to her without wanting anything in return was amazing for her. If you like lyrical prose and a gothic setting, you’ll like this one.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Hallowed Games by. C.N.Crawford | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: Hallowed Games (#1)

Author: C.N. Crawford

Format: ebook (kindle unlimited)

Pages: 410

Publication Date: 12/1/23

Categories: Adult, Forbidden Romance, Fantasy, Vampires

If he’s death, I crave oblivion.

I’m cursed to kill with a brush of my fingertips. My worst fear is attracting the attention of the kingdom’s magic hunters. Maelor is their mysterious, gorgeous leader–and my world falls apart when he learns my secret.

When he arrests me, my only hope is to survive a deadly competition, to win the mercy of our god. Strangely, Maelor is immune to my touch. Turns out, that’s because he’s secretly a vampire—lethally sexy, and dangerous as hell.

He’s as drawn to me as I am to him. Can this beautiful monster help me survive, or will our dark attraction lead me to ruin?

Hallowed Games is the first book in a new series of fantasy romance, morally-grey characters, and deadly trials: perfect A Court of Thorns and Roses and Serpent and the Wings of Night.

Content Warning: violence

I haven’t read a forbidden love story in awhile so this was interesting!

+ It’s forbidden! Maelor is the Raven Lord who is part of the society that is similar to a devout priest but in this story they worship Archon. Anyone with magic is killed so think – the Spanish Inquisition or witch trials, except with a few twists. And Maelor can’t control himself when he’s around Elowen – who’s magic is a death touch. Anyway it has the religious fanatics hunting the witches kind of situations.

+ I did like the twist in the story with Maelor and another character who is a bit suspicious, Sion. I’m not sure what’s going to happen there between the three of them but in this book it’s about Maelor and Elowen’s forbidden attraction which gets steamy.

+ It’s a quick read – not as much depth as I’d like, but it’s a story for easy reading and escape.

~ I just wanted more world-building. I love the vampire aspect of the story, just wanted more from some of the characters. Maybe it’ll get better for me in book two?

~ I hope this doesn’t turn into a love triangle! I mean I kind of giggled when Elowen was turned on by Maelor’s exposed clavicle! lol I was like, OKAY, that’s how it’s going to be. There is lots of angst and pining on both sides but I’m not convinced they are going end up together? I don’t know.

My Final Thoughts:

I kind of needed this one to get out of my reading slump. It was a quick and easy read, nothing to deep and fun because of the forbidden love and vampire elements. I did want a little more depth to the characters and some world-building but I’ll just take it as is and wait to see if it gets better in book two.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Mini Reviews | Court of the Sea Fae Trilogy by. C.N. Crawford

Mini Reviews | Institute of the Shadow Fae Series (Books #1-4) by. C.N. Crawford

Mini Reviews | Hades Castle Trilogy by. C.N. Crawford

City of Thorns (The Demon Queen Trials, #1) by. C.N. Crawford | Book Review

Lord of Embers by. C.N. Crawford | Book Review

Garden of Serpents by. C.N. Crawford | Book Review

Frost by. C.N. Crawford | Book Review

Ambrosia by. C.N. Crawford | Book Review

A Festive Feud: Special Edition by. Maren Moore | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: A Festive Feud (Strawberry Hollow, #2)

Author: Maren Moore

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 222

Publication Date: 11/13/23

Categories: Adult, Romance, Spicy Holiday Romance, Contemporary, Novella

My family is famous for two things in our small Our annual Christmas party And…. Our feud with The Pearce family. Our families hate each other. It’s a tale as old as St. Nick himself. So, imagine what happens when a harmless little argument with Jackson Pearce ends with us both behind bars for the night. As if that wasn’t bad enough… The punishment for our crime? The only Christmas party we’re allowed to have is one together. At Town Hall. But… It gets worse . That means that I’ll be forced to spend time with Jackson and his enormous ego while we plan this party and somehow keep our families from strangling each other with tinsel this holiday season. It doesn’t help that he is annoyingly attractive and goes out of his way to push my buttons.
With his old, dirty, work boots, and his stupid veiny forearms, he works his way into my perfectly organized life and leaves everything in disarray.

Will we actually be able to survive this… Festive Feud, or will we end up back where we started?

Content Warning:

If you’re looking for a super quick, spicy holiday romance – this is it! But how did I jump into book two and not even know there was a first book? 🤷🏻‍♀️

+ Even though this is a second book in a series, I didn’t feel lost at all. This is a super quick read, so it gets to the point! There is a family feud going on in the small town of Strawberry Hollow and an incident between two members of the opposite families cause an incident. The punishment? If they want to throw their family holiday parties – they have to do it together! So Jackson and Emma try to put their differences aside but their attraction to one another ignites – despite being enemies.

+ I think Jackson and Emma’s relationship is cute and their sexual activities? Spicy! They don’t waste time on their feud and really get down to business.

+ It has tons of fun tropes like one bed, enemies to lovers, family feud, small town and even miscommunication (between the families). The chapter titles are pretty funny!

~ The feud didn’t seem so bad. We hear about some of the antics but when we learn more about what really happens, it seemed like something super trivial to start such a feud.

My Final Thoughts:

If you want a fun, spicy quick holiday story filled with the usual romance tropes – you will love this one.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

A Curse for True Love by. Stephanie Garber | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: A Curse for True Love (#3)

Author: Stephanie Garber

Format: ebook (own

Pages: 385

Publication Date: 10/24/23

Categories: Series, Fantasy, Young Adult, Romance

Two villains, one girl, and a deadly battle for happily ever after.

Evangeline Fox ventured to the Magnificent North in search of her happy ending, and it seems as if she has it. She’s married to a handsome prince and lives in a legendary castle. But Evangeline has no idea of the devastating price she’s paid for this fairytale. She doesn’t know what she has lost, and her husband is determined to make sure she never finds out . . . but first he must kill Jacks, the Prince of Hearts.

Blood will be shed, hearts will be stolen, and true love will be put to the test in A Curse for True Love, the breathlessly anticipated conclusion to the Once Upon A Broken Heart trilogy.

Content Warning:

I had to read this one to end the series but I think I went in with higher expectations? I love the first two books in this series. But this is what I thought about this conclusion.

+ Jacks is why I read this series and I felt like he came too late into the story. But once he is there, I get the Evangeline/Jacks romance I’ve been waiting for.

+ The writing is consistent with the other books and keeps that magical, fairytale storytelling.

~ I mentioned this above but I was reading this book for more Jacks and I think there was too much Apollo! I was not expecting that ugh…I had to skim through parts of the book because I wanted Jacks and wasn’t getting enough of him early enough in the book. I didn’t want to spend my time reading about Apollo.

My Final Thoughts:

I did like the fairytale storytelling but I feel like there was too much Apollo and not enough Jacks. And it was Jacks who I was here for throughout the whole series! I actually skimmed through parts of this book because it was not holding my attention. So unfortunately I didn’t quite enjoy it – but the three stars are for the first half I did read at least and the second half which I skimmed. I didn’t feel invested in this last book unfortunately.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

The Ballad of Never After by. Stephanie Garber ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Once Upon a Broken Heart by. Stephanie Garber ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Knockout by. Sarah MacLean | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: Knockout (Hell’s Belles, #3)

Author: Sarah MacLean

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 404

Publication Date: 8/22/23

Categories: Historical Romance, Series

New York Times bestselling author Sarah MacLean returns with the next Hell’s Belles novel about a chaotic bluestocking and the buttoned-up detective enlisted to keep her out of trouble (spoiler: She is the trouble).

With her headful of wild curls and wilder ideas and an unabashed love of experiments and explosives, society has labeled Lady Imogen Loveless peculiar…and doesn’t know she’s one of the Hell’s Belles—a group of vigilantes operating outside the notice of most of London.

Thomas Peck is not most of London. The brilliant detective fought his way off the streets and into a promising career through sheer force of will and a keen ability to see things others miss, like the fact that Imogen isn’t peculiar…she’s pandemonium. If you ask him, she requires a keeper. When her powerful family discovers her late-night activities, they couldn’t agree more…and they know just the man for the task.

Thomas wants nothing to do with guarding Imogen. He is a grown man with a proper job and no time for the lady’s incendiary chaos, no matter how lushly it is packaged. But some assignments are too explosive to pass up, and the gruff detective is soon caught up in Imogen’s world, full of her bold smiles and burning secrets…and a fiery passion that threatens to consume them both.

Content Warning: violence

This is book three in the Hell’s Belles series and I was looking forward to Imogen’s story!

+ I love that Imogen is fearless, smart, science-minded and brave! She’s not a damsel in distress which is why I love this series – these ladies are not timid! Imogen makes and handles explosives…like that is pretty amazing!

+ I think Tommy is a great match for Imogen. He’s a big bearded man who is a detective, which automatically makes you think he’ll be the one to dominate the relationship but nope – Imogen could stand toe to toe with him and their chemistry is great in and out of the bedroom! I like that they both are inquisitive in their own ways.

~ I don’t read a lot of historical romances anymore because I was getting tired of the “formula” but I still read Sarah MacLean books. I will continue the series but even though I loved Imogen in this book I do feel like I really might have outgrown historical romances in general – it just doesn’t excite me but I was trying to hang on to my past love for it.

My Final Thoughts:

If you love historical romances and Sarah MacLean books you will really love this one because Imogen is a smart and vibrant character. Her romance with Tommy is a fun one. I think this is a great addition to the series!

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Daring and the Duke | Book Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Book Review: Brazen and the Beast ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Heartbreaker by. Sarah MacLean | Book Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Bombshell by. Sarah MacLean | ARC Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

To Kill a Shadow by. Katherine Quinn | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: To Kill a Shadow (Mistlands, #1)

Author: Katherine Quinn

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 448

Publication Date: 11/28/23

Categories: Fantasy, Romance, Young Adult

Jude Maddox knows nothing of love or even light. He knows only his grim duty as the Hand of Death, to lead the Knights of the Eternal Star into a land filled with nightmares and certain demise. It’s only when he sees her ―a young woman with wild, amber eyes who’s as fierce, defiant, and swift as the shadow beasts themselves―that he feels the warmth of life in his blood…

The other Knights may fear their lethal commander, with his hard, merciless demeanor. Outcast Kiara Frey sees only a leader, a man who knows how to survive. Someone like her . But wanting him is as treacherous as the shadows themselves…and just as seductive.

With a kingdom on the verge of collapse, the Knights must now venture into the darkest heart of the land and uncover the secrets of the misted shadows, where evil will prey upon their minds and feast on their flesh.

It will betray their senses.
It will surpass their nightmares.
Most of them will die.

But they have no other choice. Because the only way to fight the darkness… is to become it.

Content Warning: violence

I was intrigued with the premise of this book and Goodreads has pretty good reviews for this book so I gave it a try:

+ I like that it had lots of action and it didn’t shy from being brutal at times. It made the Mist seem like a very dangerous place. Characters were getting killed off with no mercy!

+~ Kiara is a fighter. She’s bold, arrogant, the only girl among boys and men (which makes her super “special”) and she’s bi-sexual except this is definitely a romance between her and Jude. She mentions giving her all to a girl in the village very early in the book but there’s nothing else about it. I didn’t love her although I did admire her bravery and willingness to fight for her friends – I just felt like some things about her were so forced – like her relationship with Jude and then her becoming like a mother to her guy friends in her group.

+ Some interesting plot twists to the story that I wasn’t expecting, especially about one of the side characters.

~ I didn’t connect to any of the characters or the story and I think it’s because it lacks world building. I couldn’t even get into the found family aspect of the story because it just felt like it happened too quick. I wanted to know more about the curse and it didn’t seem like any of the characters really knew about it either.

~ The romance happens too quick for my liking. I wanted a little bit more tension between them. He thought she was the most amazing thing days after knowing her, so it’s a bit of insta-love.

My Final Thoughts:

I must be in a crazy mood because I like how characters were being killed off because that’s the thing that surprised me most about this book! I think the romance is okay if you are into insta-love romantasy and the “special girl” trope. I think it lacked the world building I needed to be hooked on the story. Not sure if I will continue with this series but I know a lot of people will enjoy this book.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Flower and Thorn by. Rati Mehrotra | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: Flower and Thorn

Author: Rati Mehrotra

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 352

Publication Date: 10/17/23

Categories: Fantasy, Young Adult, Magic, Historical Fiction

One girl. One boy.
A promise broken.
A magic stolen.

Irinya has wanted to be a flower hunter ever since her mother disappeared into the mysterious mist of the Rann salt flats one night. Now seventeen, Irinya uses her knowledge of magical flowers to help her caravan survive in the harsh desert. When her handsome hunting partner and childhood friend finds a priceless silver spider lily–said to be able to tear down kingdoms and defeat an entire army–Irinya knows this is their chance for a better life.

Until Irinya is tricked by an attractive imposter.

Irinya’s fight to recover the priceless flower and to fix what she’s done takes her on a dangerous journey, one she’s not sure she’ll survive. She has no choice but to endure it if she hopes to return home and mend the broken heart of the boy she’s left behind.

Content Warning: violence

I was definitely intrigued about this title because it’s cover – it’s so beautiful!

+ I thought the world-building was very unique with the magical flowers! I love that Irinya is from a nomad group and I enjoyed seeing the community between her kul. There is a tiny bit of romance, it’s not the center of the story. It didn’t even need to be in the story but it did make me question some of the men in Irinya’s life.

+ There is some historical fiction in this story which was another interesting and eye opening. It brings up how the Portuguese was on India’s coasts and trying to take over the country. Something I didn’t realize because usually I think about how the British colonized India, and didn’t realize that the Portuguese did as well.

+ The story moves quickly and is a stand alone book. The story has themes about power, and familly/community.

~ I did find Irinya’s penchant for falling for a guy a bit quick. I don’t blame her for feeling all these new feelings for guys she’s just met but it really sets off a series of events that harms the people she care about! For the most part she was a strong character which I loved, except when it came to the guys that came into her life.

My Final Thoughts:

I wasn’t sure what to expect with this book but after reading two of this author’s books I have to say I like how her characters engage with one another and I like the action in her stories. I thought it was a nice treat to have some historical information about India and I came away learning something new along with being intrigued about the magical flowers. If only flowers had that much power! I look forward to reading more from this author.

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Night of the Raven, Dawn of the Dove by. Rati Mehrotra ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Iron Flame by. Rebecca Yarros | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Title: Iron Flame (The Empyrean, #2)

Author: Rebecca Yarros

Format: ebook (own)

Pages: 878

Publication Date: 11/7/23

Categories: Series, Romance, Fantasy, Dragons

“The first year is when some of us lose our lives. The second year is when the rest of us lose our humanity.” —Xaden Riorson

Everyone expected Violet Sorrengail to die during her first year at Basgiath War College—Violet included. But Threshing was only the first impossible test meant to weed out the weak-willed, the unworthy, and the unlucky.

Now the real training begins, and Violet’s already wondering how she’ll get through. It’s not just that it’s grueling and maliciously brutal, or even that it’s designed to stretch the riders’ capacity for pain beyond endurance. It’s the new vice commandant, who’s made it his personal mission to teach Violet exactly how powerless she is–unless she betrays the man she loves.

Although Violet’s body might be weaker and frailer than everyone else’s, she still has her wits—and a will of iron. And leadership is forgetting the most important lesson Basgiath has taught her: Dragon riders make their own rules.

But a determination to survive won’t be enough this year.

Because Violet knows the real secret hidden for centuries at Basgiath War College—and nothing, not even dragon fire, may be enough to save them in the end.

Content Warning: violence, war, death, torture

I FINALLY finished Iron Flame and let me tell you…just trying to get my printed copy was such a disappointment. I pre-ordered it and it was not shipping when I thought it would, then I saw all the printing issues on tiktok and said okay, I’m gonna cancel and buy the ebook. I’m glad I did! Now if you look at the pages of my ebook above it says 878. Yup…and I don’t know why because the hardcover on Goodreads said it was 623 pages. 🤷🏻‍♀️ So when I was reading, I felt like I was slogging through 878 pages – but it’s only 623? I don’t know. But here is what I thought:

+ I love being back with the dragons. I love Tairn and miss Andarna who is going through a bit of a transformation but I was there for it! I loved all her sass. I also liked that we get to meet some gryphons and new characters! I really enjoyed the story opening up and finally meeting the so-called enemies or more like frenemies in this war against the venin. I also liked that we get more time in the Archives and Jesinia has a bigger role.

+ Violet and her group of friends always make things entertaining but it’s scary because I care for them and am scared they are going to end up like Liam. 🥺 Because you never know in this world who is just gonna get killed. Speaking of Liam…there is a scene and it almost made me cry. But yeah nothing is ever easy for Violet but thank goodness she has good friends around her.

+ There was more an emphasis on Violet’s family bonds in this one which I also enjoyed along with her friendships. She’s reunited with her family and even though they have the toughest relationship with their mother…something her mom said hit ME as a mom…and this story definitely showed us a bit more of her mother’s motivations. And the scene in the end with her made finally made me unexpectedly cry.

When you are a mother, talk to me about who you’re willing to sacrifice so your child lives.”
Rebecca Yarros, Iron Flame

+~ I think it’s clear, Xaden and Violet are end game but this whole story is them working out all the kinks in their relationship. They are working through trust issues, opening up to one another, being truthful about what they want from one another, and sometimes I thought it got to be a bit too much only because I wanted them to work through some things a bit quicker. They have some good moments and hot moments too but I do think I enjoyed Violet’s relationship with her friends and family more than the struggle she was having with Xaden. And like I said, I know they are end game so I wasn’t too worried about them except being worried if one of them would die or be kidnapped by the venin. Of course the ending makes me want to know what will happen in book three.

~ Not gonna lie, I was getting bogged down at times with so many character names to remember. And this goes for people, places, dragons and gryphons! There are a lot of names to try and remember in this book. Also this book was a tad too long for me and felt like it could have been 2 books. I think there was some things that could have definitely been cut out to make the book move faster because at times it felt like nothing much was happening. Because this is about year two, I think it loses a bit of the excitement we had from Fourth Wing because Violet and her friends aren’t competing anymore. There is still danger in the story but I think the pacing for this one was more up and down than the first book.

My Final Thoughts:

Did I find this one as good as book one? No, but I wasn’t expecting that because I know sequels are always a challenge. There were some things I absolutely enjoyed like the friendships, and the struggle with family relationships. I totally love the dragons and love that we get to meet some gryphons and there are some intriguing new characters like Aaric and Cat! I especially love the battle scenes, anything with danger and not knowing what was going to happen or being scared that a character you cared about was going to die (okay I hate that part too…love and hate! lol). The parts I did struggle with was the pacing because I felt like the book was too long and some things could have been cut out because it was repetitive like Xaden and VIolet’s constant back and forth fighting for their relationship. I mean, I appreciated that they wanted to work things through but I think it slowed some parts down for the book and I wanted all the action because it’s so good. I do love how this story makes me care about the characters and yes it did make me unexpectedly cry. I’m definitely curious to see what happens next in this series after that ending!

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

The Fourth Wing by. Rebecca Yarros | Book Review ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The Woman in Me by. Britney Spears | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: The Woman in Me

Author: Britney Spears

Format: ebook (own)

Pages: 288

Publication Date: 10/25/23

Categories: Nonfiction, Memoir, Music, Pop Culture

The Woman in Me is a brave and astonishingly moving story about freedom, fame, motherhood, survival, faith, and hope.

In June 2021, the whole world was listening as Britney Spears spoke in open court. The impact of sharing her voice—her truth—was undeniable, and it changed the course of her life and the lives of countless others. The Woman in Me reveals for the first time her incredible journey—and the strength at the core of one of the greatest performers in pop music history.

Written with remarkable candor and humor, Spears’s groundbreaking book illuminates the enduring power of music and love—and the importance of a woman telling her own story, on her own terms, at last.

Content Warning: postpartum depression, underage drinking, alcoholism

I don’t read a lot of memoirs even though I always plan to add it to my TBR list. I’ll read one here and there but I HAD to get this one because I love Britney. I was in college when she blew up in the music industry and my little girl cousins were obsessed with her because of Baby One More Time. And she was so awesome to hold a Free concert here in Hawaii (and back then it was hard to get any big musicians to do concerts here in Hawaii!!!) – I never went but I remember my cousin’s wives brought their little girls and they were so excited and happy about it. I wish I did go now because who holds free concerts now? Not in this economy of overpriced tickets. But Britney held a free concert in Hawaii on the beach and it was made into a DVD. I wasn’t obsessed but I loved her music, especially her next albums where there was more tracks I could dance to. And from there I just loved her music, her videos, and her performances – she was the moment! Until everything imploded and now we get HER side of the story and it’s so long overdue.

+ I love how she gives us a glimpse into her childhood which she experienced with an alcoholic father and a mother that fought with him a lot. It’s only a quick glance into her early years, memories here and there about growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana.

I wanted to hide, but I also wanted to be seen. Both things could be true.”
Britney Spears – The Woman in Me

I’ve heard that this sometimes happens to parents – especially if you have trauma from your childhood. When your kids get to be the age you were when you were dealing with something rough, you live it emotionally.”
Britney Spears – The Woman in Me

+ Her relationships with the various men in her life really didn’t turn out the best and I think it’s because of her already traumatic childhood didn’t give her a good idea about what a good, stable relationship is like. With the whole Justin thing – I loved them together and was sad when they broke up. And it got messy in the tabloids and in the media. She was tarnished and labeled a bad woman because of the breakup and they were so YOUNG They were 17 and 18? My goodness it reminded me of me and my ex high school boyfriend and how we ended and I got labeled a slut when I wasn’t even sleeping around with anyone but they believed HIM. Like why does that happen? 🙄 And then came K. Fed. 😡 This girl wanted to be loved and he was that rock for her at first until he chased the fame too. She did skim over when she dated “the photographer” as she calls him – kind of wanted to know more about that but I’m sure that was a rough time in her memory.

That interview was a breaking point for me internally – a switch had been flipped. I felt something dark come over my body. I felt myself turning, almost like a werewolf, into a Bad Person.”
Britney Spears – The Woman in Me

+ She explains some of the images we saw on tabloids and on the news – the moment the police show up to her house and take her on a gurney into the ambulance or the moment the pictures of her almost falling with her baby in her arms when the heel of her show twists…stuff like that. And again…they were like sharks after her! And why her, is what I ask…why did they want to tear her apart so badly?! I was flabbergasted how clearly she was going through postpartum depression (only now I understand because I’ve had 2 kids)…but she was suffering and there was no one there to help her with that at all or even diagnose her with PPD? I can only imagine what she was going through. I remember when everything was happening in the media, I really thought she was going to end up in an overdose like how most troubled celebrities end up and I was scared for her.

It felt like that was the only thing people wanted to tall about: whether or not I was a fit mother.”
Britney Spears – The Woman inMe

+ The moment she talks about the conservatorship and the role her father takes – I feel her anger and the betrayal in her words. I am so angry FOR her. No one was in her corner. And she went along with everything for her babies. 😭💔 I understand that when she was having a mental break, probably because of the PPD, the conservatorship helped her get back on her feet. But now we get to hear her thoughts about how she felt during that 13 year period. I ask the same questions she is asking…how can someone be in a conservatorship – but be worked to the bone, performing, touring, being out in public and paying everyone’s bills…how can they deem her unfit to be her own person yet milked for the money she could make them? When she talks about the nurse showing her the #freebritney movement on the internet…I felt like I was watching a movie and that was the moment everything turned around for her!

This is too much for me. But I didn’t see a way out. So I felt my spirit retreat, and I went on autopilot. If I play along, surely they’ll see how good I am and they will let me go.”
Britney Spears – The Woman in Me

+~ Is it well written? I’d say not particularly because I’m such an avid reader – but I’m also used to the way she writes captions on her Instagram account! So I feel like this is authentic to her voice and the way she talks. Even the speech she made in court kind of sounds like this book where her sentences rush into one another. Some of her timeline in the beginning felt like she was jumping between childhood memories, kind of skimming over some memories but if someone asked me for details about my childhood it wouldn’t be fully detailed either. But her writing does get better and smoother when she writes about her adult years. I can only imagine how hard it was for her to put what she went through down on paper – I can feel the pain and so much anger in her words.

My Final Thoughts:

There is so much I want to say but overall it’s a good read especially if you are a Britney fan like me. It’s full of details I never knew and just full of her emotions and I am angry and heartbroken for her. Britney is 41 years old which is 4 years younger than me and wow….her life story just hits me because I remember living in this Britney era. It just makes no sense to me that she was labeled the “unfit mother” but she was so unfit that she WORKED her ass off and paid everyone’s bills while she was “unfit”?! That bugs me a lot. So the “help” they gave her was to work her harder and push her to the brink? Like she said she was a people pleaser and she’s learning to now say no, thank goodness. That’s totally relatable because it’s a hard lesson to learn (from a fellow people pleaser). Sometimes you give so much that there is nothing else to give because you are empty.

I hope she makes a movie about her life because it would be so good. It’s an inspirational story. But on the other hand, she owes us nothing else because she gave us so much of herself and I’m grateful for that. I still work out to her music and my kids love Oops I did it again, Toxic and Lucky. I just hope she continues to do what she wants with her freedom and have more therapy to help HEAL all her mental trauma and wounds. 🙏🏼 😔 I got a new appreciate for her strength as a woman and a mother after reading this book – she really held on for her kids and I can relate to that!

Book Links:

Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble

Starling House by. Alix E. Harrow | Book Review

My Rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️💫

Title: Starling House

Author: Alix E. Harrow

Format: ebook (borrowed)

Pages: 320

Publication Date: 10/3/23

Categories: Contemporary, Fantasy, Mystery, Sentient House, Romance, Gothic, Dark Fantasy, Magic

A grim and gothic new tale from author Alix E. Harrow about a small town haunted by secrets that can’t stay buried and the sinister house that sits at the crossroads of it all.

Eden, Kentucky, is just another dying, bad-luck town, known only for the legend of E. Starling, the reclusive nineteenth-century author and illustrator who wrote The Underland–and disappeared. Before she vanished, Starling House appeared. But everyone agrees that it’s best to let the uncanny house―and its last lonely heir, Arthur Starling―go to rot.

Opal knows better than to mess with haunted houses or brooding men, but an unexpected job offer might be a chance to get her brother out of Eden. Too quickly, though, Starling House starts to feel dangerously like something she’s never had: a home.

As sinister forces converge on Starling House, Opal and Arthur are going to have to make a dire choice to dig up the buried secrets of the past and confront their own fears, or let Eden be taken over by literal nightmares.

If Opal wants a home, she’ll have to fight for it.

Content Warning: violence, thieving. nightmares, monsters, incest, death of parent

I can’t believe this is the first book I’ve read from this author but I finally did it.

+ I like the small town vibes with secrets and a haunted house! The story is set in Eden, Kentucky and the Starling House is what they are known for. Starling House is a mysterious house and author Eleanor Starling used to live there but disappeared. There is lots of lore about the town and the house. Everyone has a version of the story about Starling House and different theories. It’s quite a mystery.

+ Opal is such a strong character – she is a survivor. She thieves, she lies, she does everything she can to keep her brother Jasper thriving – but they are close to being homeless. They have little to eat most times but they only have each other. She only wants to give her brother a good life. Arthur is the new guardian of Starling House and he’s a scary, anti-social recluse. They are both described as very not good looking people but I love that they look ordinary (because that’s REAL) and they fell for each other in all their imperfections.

+ I love the found family, the romance between Opal and Arthur, the sibling bond between Opal and Jasper, and the history of Starling House. The gothic, dark fantasy vibes are great, it’s very atmospheric – makes for a good book for fall.

~ I think the beginning was a bit slow for me (it’s a me thing – sometimes mysteries are just too slow for me), but the second half of the book, I was totally hooked until the end.

~ There was a lot going on at the ending and the way it was resolved was not what I was expecting. It was strange and maybe I needed to suspend my belief a bit more because I didn’t totally believe it. I did like Eleanor’s story and how we learn the truth of what happened but it also felt a bit anti-climatic for me.

My Final Thoughts:

This one is a great read for fall because it has all the right elements: it’s gothic, has a haunted house, and a small town with secrets. I did like the second half of the book more than the first but only because mysteries are not my favorite genre. This one had a great lore surrounding Starling House and it was definitely a fascinating story. If you are into gothic, fantasy contemporary tales about a sentient house, nightmares and monsters then you will definitely enjoy this one.